Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #58
Random Twitter Q&A
May 1, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

There’s a zombie apocalypse and you can choose one movie character to be by your side to fight off the zombies 🧟‍♂️. Who do you choose?

Normally, I’d say Batman, but zombies are a pretty resilient group of critters and Batman likes to be a little too hands-on for my tastes. So let’s go with, from the MCU, Thor. He could just point that hammer and zap all the zombies, flash-frying them without breaking a sweat. So there you go.

Who is your Mount Rushmore of Rock stars?

Alice Cooper. Do I really need anyone else? Okay, let’s go with David Bowie, Michael Jackson, and Prince.

If you could build a house anywhere in the United States, where would it be?

I don’t really care for any certain location, but it would be isolated, huge, kind of gothic looking, and fitting for me and the man that I am. Collinwood, from the show Dark Shadows. I just want Collinwood.

Snoopy or Scooby?

Scooby is annoying. Snoopy’s nickname was Joe Cool. That pretty much says it all, right?

Does George W Bush have blood on his hands?

Every person who has ever held the office of President of the United States has plenty of blood on their hands. It comes with the job.

If you could witness any historical speech, which one would you choose?

Bill Clinton’s “I did not have sex with that woman” speech. To be a fly on the wall when he tried to rationalize it to Hillary. I’m sure that it was pretty deep in that room on that day. Or if you’re talking about a real speech in front of real people that made history, how about when Kayne West interrupted Taylor Swift at the VMAs? I’d have loved to be there for that event.

30 or so years ago, why did people think that “greater access to information’ would = smarter people?

Boy, we were wrong on that, weren’t we? The more access to knowledge there is, the dumber this world has become. Oy vey!

Are you a fan of pretzels?

I’m not going to pay money to see or eat them, nor will I buy a pretzel t-shirt, but I like them okay.

Hard or soft?

I always like it hard. Oh, wait, you’re talking about pretzels. I like them hard too.

What do you like to dip them in?

Your boyfriend, but just the tip. Oh, we’re still talking about pretzels, right? I like to eat them raw.

Are you as hot in real life as you are on Twitter?

I’m even more of a sexy beast in real life. With Twitter, you only see a small part of my persona. In real life, I’m totally beyond comparison.

Do you always take your hat off at the dinner table or at a restaurant?

I don’t wear… hats.

Would you support a federal law that bans ALL drag shows and other child grooming events in public schools?

None of that garbage belongs in schools or should involve children. I have nothing against drag shows or any of that stuff, but that should be adults only. Once a person is over 18 years of age and legal, go see the drag queens and have a wild time. That’s cool. But leave the kids, the minors and children, out of it.

Finish this sentence:
I like to dream about __.

What the future might hold once I get out of this damn house, this town, away from my family, and finally free.

Would you rather work two 20-hour shifts or the more normal 8 hours 5 days a week?

Twenty-hour shifts would be pretty rough and hard to pull off, but those five long days at eight hours each are pretty annoying too. For me, the perfect work schedule is one that I had when I worked for Coopers, a local C-store franchise. We worked four days a week, ten hours a day. That was the perfect work schedule with three days off, but still getting the time in for a full work week. Good times.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s close shop for the day. Take care and stay well, my friends. I’ll see you on the funny pages. Take care.

Ubuntu!