Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #71
Random Twitter Q&A
May 11, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

If you were running for office, what would your campaign slogan be?

I’d have two. The first would be, “I Don’t Care!” and the other would be “Shut The Fuck Up!”. Just imagine either one of those on a bumper sticker or a billboard. I’d win in a landslide.

Who is the greatest trash-talker of all time?

As a wrestling fan, I have to say Stone Cold Steve Austin. It’s in the rulebook.

What’s the most heartbreaking song you know of?

This Dolly Parton classic is from the early 70s. It makes the allergies act up almost every time I listen to it.

If a man proposes and she says no, is the relationship over?

That depends on the man and woman. Different people react in different ways and maybe she’s just not ready for marriage yet. For me, it would be, “Okay, whatever. But you’re doing butt stuff tonight since you broke my heart with that! I’ll ask again later!”.

WHY shouldn’t you eat the green M&Ms?

I never knew that you weren’t supposed to eat the green ones. I know the old rumor was that they were essentially a candy version of Spanish Fly, but I’ve eaten many of them and never got any freakier than usual. If I see an M&M, I’m gonna eat it and I don’t care what color it is. I don’t discriminate.

What was your favorite sport when you were a kid?

College basketball, but only when UNC was playing and of course, professional wrestling. Weightlifting was fun too, but that was just showing off for my boys before I got old and fat. I don’t consider that as a sport.

Name an athlete you support that is not on your favorite team.

CM Punk. He’s not a part of WWE anymore, but he’s always fun to watch and listen to when he’s on wrestling TV.

If you only had 5 minutes in a grocery store, what would you buy?

Five minutes for me is plenty of time because I know the store that I shop at and where my usual essentials are all located at. Drinks, Jerky, Chicken Nuggets, Cat Treats, and Chicken Salad. That’s about 4 minutes if I don’t have to stop and talk to anyone.

Ice cream cones, or ice cream in a bowl?

I prefer the cones. If I use a bowl, that means I have to wash a dish and that would suck. Just put it in the cone so I can start licking it.

What unanswered cartoon question keeps you up at night?

Is Goofy a dog and if so, why does he wear clothes and live a relatively normal human-like life while Pluto, who is also a dog, doesn’t talk, runs around on four legs, and is treated like a pet/animal? I’ve sat and wondered about this.

Do you think good people can do bad things?

Sometimes, you have to do what’s necessary, whether it’s good or bad and regardless of the kind of person you are. You don’t have any other options so yes, good people can and do bad things.

Do you believe that we are truly living in the end times?

If not already there, we’re getting close. The world is falling apart and people are getting crazier and it’s going to get much worse before it gets any better. It’s sad but true.

What physically cut you the deepest?

A piece of glass when I was about 2 1/2 years old. I climbed up on the kitchen counter when no one was looking to get a glass of milk. I fell with the glass in my hand and well, it wasn’t pretty. I ended up getting plastic surgery to save my thumb and I still have the scars to show for it.

Would you ever stay in a hostel?

I’m not saying no, but I don’t even like to leave the house, much less travel anywhere, so the odds of staying in a Hostel are very slim.

What song reminds you of high school?

This classic by Van Halen. The live band that was playing at my Junior Prom, and yes, I rented a tux and went… with a girl, played it at least three times during the night. I think it was the only whole song that they knew. so, here you go. Get ready to Jump!

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. I also need some good topics for future editions of A Day of Dougie and wrestling-themed questions for the Ultimate Wrestling Q&A so help a brother out already, please. Thank you. And with that being said, let’s close up shop for the night. It’s nearly two o’clock in the morning and I think I’m going to go riding. Stay well and be good my friends, and I’ll see you on the funny pages.

Ubuntu!