Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #72
Random Twitter Q&A
May 11, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

Top 3 Old School wrestlers?

When I think of old school, I think of the days of my youth when the territories thrived and wrestling was the best of the best, where only the strong survived. The top three for me would be Harley Race, Blackjack Mulligan, and Ivn Koloff.

What are your plans for Mother’s Day?

Probably the same as any usual Sunday, but I’ll give Ma a few gifts and a card and we’ll probably have KFC for dinner. It’s finger-licking good!

Name a tv show that survived after killing off a main character.

I’ll go with Roseanne, although they had to change the name of the show to The Conners. It’s essentially the same show, but it’s missing its heart and soul (Roseanne).

If they remade Gilligan’s Island today, who would you pick to play the cast(aways)?

Gilligan’s Island is a classic and should never be remade or rebooted. But if Hollywood went that route, the casting should be as follows. The Skipper? How about Jack Black? Gilligan? Jason Mewes. The Millionaire and his wife? That would be Patrick Duffy & Linda Gray. The movie star would be Trish Stratus. The Professor and Mary Ann would be Robert Downey Jr. and Jessica Simpson. And then they could all be stranded on Gilligan’s Island together.

If you had to sing one song and get all of the lyrics correct to avoid death, what would it be?

I’ll pull out a classic Sinatra song and sing about how “I Got You Under My Skin”. Yeppers, this one right here.

When was the last time you worked hard with your hands?

On your boyfriend a few days ago. Okay, I’m kidding. That wasn’t hard at all and I didn’t use my hands. Probably cleaning out my truck two days ago. That toolbox was full of crap.

Are your pets allowed on the furniture?

My pets run the house and do what they want. We just live here.

Who is your favorite Muppet?

Count Von Count. He counts, right?

Is art dying in the West?

Art in all its forms and majesty is, dare I say it, a dying art these days. No one cares to create and it’s all computers, A1’s, and artificial and fake. True art comes from the soul and heart and most people these days are lacking both.

Have you ever lost a civil suit?

No, but the day is still young. I’m surprised no one has tried to sue me for telling the truth about them yet and defaming their lack of character. Well, the internet is forever and I write every day so it’s still a possibility that some jackass will get hurt feelings and try to say I’m a meanie. It sure as hell wouldn’t surprise me.

What type of person is usually attracted to you?

The wrong ones if history is any indication. Or maybe that’s just me who’s attracted to the wrong ones? I can’t help it though. I’m a sucker for bad boys with pretty eyes and an ass. My bad!

If you could go back in time and go to one concert, who would you see?

The Rat Pack of Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr., and Dean Martin, all together at a show in Vegas in the late 70s. That would be awesome!

What’s the craziest animal you ever saw raising another animal?

I’ve heard tell of a cow raising a wolf cub, but that was something I saw on the internet and not in person. In-person, the weirdest was a cat who adopted a baby squirrel. A boy I knew as a kid was raising them. It was freaky to be sure.

If tomorrow you are drawn to become a juror in a court, what will be your reaction?

I’d laugh and then go down to the courthouse to do my Civic Duty and see how long it takes them to kick me out. If I answered every question asked honestly, it wouldn’t be long.

What do cheap people bring to a barbecue?

Their kids and some plastic bags to take home food.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you on the funny pages.

Ubuntu!