Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #77
Random Twitter Q&A
May 17, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

What could you talk passionately about for 30 minutes?

Many things such as professional wrestling, comic books, sex, music, bad movies, what’s wrong with people these days, politics and why they’re ruining our country, muppets, etc. I’m a man of many skills and interests.

What movie does a tricycle remind you of?

A Nightmare on Elm Street. The children in the repeated flashbacks about Freddy. I remember hopscotch, but for some reason, I’m remembering a tricycle too. Or maybe that was the Brady Bunch movie? Both were pretty damn terrifying.

Who should be served first at the dinner table?

The kids always come first, followed by the adults.

What makes you feel unstoppable?

A few beers, a shot or two of liquor, and knowing my bro always has my back.

Do you meditate?

I think of it more as listening to music and staring off into the distance, wondering about all sorts of things and what-ifs, but yeah, I do.

Would you spend 8 hours in a pitch-black room for $200,000?

Yeah, that pretty much describes my bedroom at night. I’m down for that. So, where is my money?

Who is the worst TV mom of all time?

I remember an old TV show called Sigmund & The Sea Monsters from back in the 70s. It was a Sid & Marty Krofft series about a young sea monster and his human friends. From what I remember, and this was almost fifty years ago, Sigmund’s family, including his Mommy Sea Monster, treated him pretty badly, so I’ll go with her. She was a real meanie.

Would you rather go back to age 5 with everything you know now or know now everything your future self will learn?

I’d take that trip back and be the kid who knows everything I know now and makes subtle (and not-so-subtle) changes as needed. A lot of hurt and pain could be avoided and I would rule as a TV weatherman and wrestling promoter.

When you are really hungry, what is the greatest restaurant to get food?

The Golden Run is a local Chinese restaurant with a great buffet. I love to go there and munch.

What would you say the greatest threat to our homeland is?

The enemy from within, the Democratic party and the woken, liberal masses who live under a fake sense of entitlement and delusions.

If you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Chicken. It can be baked, fried, boiled, and prepared in so many ways, it’s almost the perfect food.

What is the greatest Movie Trilogy of all time?

I know that most will say Star Wars or Lord of the Rings, but for me, there is only one true movie trilogy and that’s Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, Return of the Killer Tomatoes, Killer Tomatoes Strike Back, and Killer Tomatoes Eat France. Yes, I know that’s four movies, but I’ve never claimed to be a math expert, and with common core math and in today’s world, it can still identify as a Trilogy. So there you go.

What is one thing you’ve always wanted to learn, but never had the chance to?

Tap dancing. Well, that and playing the piano. I could have been a star.

Would you rather hear good news first or bad news first?

I generally don’t have a preference, but just get it all over with and tell me what I need to know so I can react accordingly.

What should be the maximum age limit for any political position?

If it’s serving as a Member of Congress, the Supreme Court, a Cabinet Post, or as President or Vice President of the United States, I would put a cap of age 68 as the limit. Plus there should be term limits for Congress as well. If there are term limits for the President, with two terms, then the House and Senate should have to follow the same rules. I would suggest two terms for a Senator (12 years maximum) and six terms for a member of the House, (also 12 years maximum).

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s call it a night. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you on the funny pages.

Ubuntu!