Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #85
Random Twitter Q&A
May 25, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

What is something happy/positive that has happened to you today?

Well, I woke up and I’m not hurting as much as usual so that’s a good thing, right? And a very sexy guy, unfortunately straight but still a very cool dude, just added me on FB, so that’s good too.

Would you or do you date outside your race?

Sure. Race is just the cover of the book and it’s what’s inside that matters. A good person with a good personality, character, and sense of humor. And a great ass and eyes too. Skin color or race doesn’t matter, but they gotta have those eyes I can get lost in.

Who’s the nicest professional athlete you have ever met?

I’ve met so many cool wrestlers, it’s hard to pick just one. How about one that I expected an attitude from, but he turned out to be just really great? Greg “The Hammer” Valentine.

Who is the greatest rock star of all time?

Alice Cooper. ‘Nuff said!

If you just got a passport, which countries would you like to visit?

My top three priorities would be the UK, Japan, and Greece (for the temples, and mythology stuff).

Family Feud: The Griffins (Family Guy) versus The Simpsons. Who wins?

Just imagine poor Steve Harvey trying to keep things straight between Peter, Lois, Stewie, Chris, and Brian as they take on Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Krusty the Clown. It would be a great episode and maybe I need to write this one up and make a parody fan fiction story. I’ll add it to my notes. As for who wins, I’ll go with The Simpsons. At least Marge and Lisa are kind of smart.

Family Feud: The Flintstones versus The Scooby Doo Gang. Who wins?

Fred, Wilma, Barney, Betty, and Pebbles versus Fred, Velma, Daphne, Shaggy & Scooby. Now I have two parodies to write. This one would be fun too, but not as fun as the first one. I’d go with the Scooby Gang for this one.

Describe Tina Turner using (1) word.

Legend!

You’re on a first date with someone, and they tell you the name of their favorite album. You immediately fall in love. What’s the album?

The soundtrack to The Rocky Horror Picture Show. We’d be doing the Time Warp for the rest of the night.

Who is the greatest neighbor of all time?

It’s hard to say because I have some amazing neighbors right now that are more like family than just neighbors. We’re surrounded by good people. I’ll go with the incredible couple that lives across the road, Starr Anne and Billy. Two better people, you’ll ever find anywhere.

Have you ever had your heart broken?

I think I answered this in my last Questions (Not) By Casper piece. The answer remains the same. His name is Chris.

What do you think is the most essential professional skill?

The ability to adapt as necessary and to work without supervision, to know what needs to be done and to do it without someone being forced to give directions or stand over your shoulder.

When did you watch CNN last time?

I watched the Trump Town Hall a few weeks ago. I watched it online and after the original airing because I don’t want to give CNN any ratings or extra viewership, but I was curious and wanted to see Trump lay a verbal smackdown on the moderator. I was not disappointed.

What’s the worst thing you can say in an elevator full of people?

Who farted?

What’s your favorite one-hit wonder?

I’ve heard lots of great music from this band, but this was the only major hit that I can think of. It’s LMFAO and they’re singing my theme song. Sexy and I Know It.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s wrap it up and call it a day. Take care and stay well, my friends. I’ll see you on the funny pages.

Ubuntu!