Tossing Salt Presents:
Ultimate X Q&A #68
Random Questions from the Land of Tweets
DougMaynard.com
Doug Maynard

Every day, my Twitter feed is filled with dozens of random questions. This is where I provide the answers. It’s Ultimate X Q&A. Let’s do this.

What’s a food that no one can ever convince you is any good?

Let’s keep it simple and go with the pickles. I know that some people like them, but I don’t. Never have and never will. The only good pickle is Pickle Rick. And the rest? The rest suck!

Does your ex have any toxic traits?

He wears his heart on his sleeve and is too good for his own good. And he’s cute as hell and packing. That’s not toxic, but it makes the women look and that pisses me off. Yeah, I’m the jealous type. I miss that dude so damn much.

What would you do if you woke up and your race had changed, white to black, black to white, etc? How would you react?

I have no idea. I don’t handle change all that well, and let’s be honest. That would be a big change. The first thing I’d do is take off my pants and see if the stories are true. And after that, just wing it and play it by ear.

What was your introduction to what would become your favorite band or artist?

My two biggest favorites came from the same source. My older brother and older sister. Steve was ten years older than me, while Lynn was eight years older. Steve liked Waylon. Lynn liked Alice. They both played the records and my young self heard the great music and was instantly hooked.

What’s one question that you hate being asked?

Anyone who has ever worked retail will understand this one. Working hard or hardly working? I have wanted to punch many people for uttering those words. No, it’s not funny.

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve broken?

I’ve wrecked a couple of cars so I guess, technically, that would be the answer. But I’ve also hurt people that I love and broken their trust and heart. The costs of that damage are impossible to place a value on.

National Reading Month starts today. What’s your favorite book?

Two books come to mind. No, make it three. One was originally a gift from an amazing woman, my sister in every way but blood, Theresa. Notes to Myself, by Hugh Prather. It changed my life. And the other two? Why Me?, the autobiography of Sammy Davis Jr., and Enter Talking, a great biography, by Joan Rivers.

Go to any restaurant for free forever or go to any theme park for free forever?

I hate traveling, leaving my house, or crowds. Give me the restaurants and the free food.

If you could use magic to do one mundane task for the rest of your life, what would it be? Laundry for me. How about you?

Housekeeping. I don’t mind cooking or laundry, but the other stuff, the housekeeping in general, sucks. To have a clean house with just the wave of a wand or an incantation, would be incredible.

Have you ever slept on a waterbed?

Slept? No, I don’t think so. There was some cuddling and a few other things, but I don’t think anyone actually slept that night.

Are New Yorkers dumb enough to elect Andrew Cuomo as mayor?

They were stupid enough to elect this clown Governor, so would making him Mayor surprise anyone? After all, they elected Bloomberg too. I know a few smart New Yorkers, but when it comes to politics in the Big Apple, they tend to be a bunch of dumbasses.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Be sure to like, share, and subscribe. And with that, let’s close up the shop today. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you in the Real World.

Ubuntu!