Tossing Salt – Worldwide News: May 10, 2014

Tossing Salt – Worldwide News
May 10, 2014
Doug Maynard
 
Happy Mother’s Day and welcome to a new edition of pro wrestling’s most eclectic column, kicking it hard since 2002, Tossing Salt – Worldwide News.  I’m your host with the most, Dougie Fresh.  Let’s just jump right to it, shall we?  And the best way to do that is…
 
Thoughts…
 
Congratulations to former WWE Diva / TNA Knockout / Aspiring Country singer Mickie James, who has announced that she is pregnant.  The father of the future wrestling superstar is former TNA Champion Magnus.  Best wishes to the happy couple on their impending parenthood.
 
Rumors are abound that Sheamus may soon be a part of the faction Evolution.  I guess that would be okay, but he just doesn’t strike me as a group type of person.  If they want to use Evolution to give a wrestler a boost, why not have Curtis Axel, Dolph Ziggler or even Cody Rhodes as the fourth man.  Sheamus doesn’t need the addition to his resume, but for folks like the ones I’ve mentioned, it would do wonders.
 
Kurt Angle has been forced to have surgery again due to a torn ACL and will be out of action for between 6 to 8 months.  Tough break for the former Olympian, but this will place his return to action at roughly about the same time as his TNA deal expires.  So most likely, we’ve seen Kurt’s last TNA match and the next one will probably be in a WWE ring.  Considering the shape that his body is in, Kurt needs to go ahead and call it a day.  At least that’s how I see it. I doubt that Kurt would agree though.
 
I would really like to see the WWE Netowrk go the way of more traditional networks with some of their programming.  With the “Legends’ House” and “Countdown” and a few others, they’re on the way anyhow, but why not use the WWE Studios and make some “Network Exclusive” series like Netflix has.  Why not use some of the more charismatic former WWE Superstars like Roddy Piper or Ric Flair as hosts of a weekly talk show?  Why not show concerts featuring Fozzy, Lita, Mickie James and Lilian Garcia?  How about Mick Foley’s stand-up comedy act?  Jim Ross, Jim Cornette, William Regal and Diamond Dallas Page all have one man shows that are said to be excellent.  Air those as Network specials.  I’m sure that in time, we’ll see such events and programming on the Network, but I’d just rather see it sooner rather than later.  The possibilites are endless.
 
David Benoit’s in-ring debut is now off. It sounds as if the promoter was trying to push David into a match and he’s not properly trained or ready yet.  Chris Jericho got involved, looking out for Chris Benoit’s eldest son and the match is now off.  Good for David to have someone like Jericho looking out for him.  I’m sure he’s anxious to get into that ring and attempt to restore the family legacy to some degree, but better to do it when he’s properly trained and ready and not to rush things.
 
Have I mentioned lately that they need to re-team Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins and place Christian as their manager?  Well, now I have and they do.
 
We also need more Hornswoggle and 3MB versus Los Matadores and El Torito.  Just saying.
 
I mentioned this yesterday, but has anyone else noted the strong physical resemblance between HHH and Adam Rose?  The face, the nose, the hair, etc.  I can just picture Stephanie, in a thick “Shades of Ricky Ricardo” accent, saying to HHH, “Hunter, you got some ‘splaining to do!”
 
Say what?  I think I hear some…
 
Quotable Quotes Part I…
 
“When I was World’s Heavyweight Champion the first time they all said it was a freak accident, came around the second time and they said, well, maybe, but daddy let me tell you something, erase all those maybes from your mind and get it totally out because right here is 10 pounds of pure gold that I’m gonna carry until I see fit!” – Harley Race
 
“You can’t sing the blues until you live them!” – Dick Slater
 
“Captain Lou Albano knows about ugly, one look at my face baby, it takes me 20 minutes to brush my teeth when I get up in the morning and look in the mirror!” – Captain Lou Albano
 
“I’ve dropped 43 pounds baby, I’m ready, I’m heavy, I’m like boarding house pie, looking for my main man, right there, I’m ready to go, ready to move!” – Captain Lou Albano
 
And now, it’s time for answers to be given and mysteries to be solved.  It must be…
 
Question Time…
 
Harold Schwan:  What are your thoughts on the American Wolves or as they are called, The Wolves in TNA.  They remind me of the smaller teams of the 80’s like the Rock & Roll Express, British Bulldogs and even the Rockers.  Too bad WWE didn’t give them a chance.
 
To be honest, I’ve only had the chance to watch the Wolves wrestle one time since I don’t normally watch TNA.  I just happened to be flipping channels and lucked out.  They looked pretty good and I can see why they remind you of the 80’s teams.  Quick paced and great teamwork.  WWE definitely missed the boat by not signing these two, but the way I see it, it may be better off for them in the long run.  We’ve seen how WWE wastes talents like Tyson Kidd, Justin Gabriel, Ryder and so many others. At least in TNA, they’re not only getting used, but a strong push as well.  They’re good talents and I expect we’ll be hearing a lot more from and about these guys in the future.
 
Adam Evenson:  What wrestling catch-phrases have you used in normal situations or to people who don’t watch wrestling?  I’ve definitely used “Yes! Yes! Yes!’, and “I’m the best in the world at what I do” and “What?”.
 
I use wrestling (and comic book) catch-phrases all the time in my regular life.  The ones that I use most often are the “Yes! Yes! Yes!” line, “two words for you”, “ass-clown”, Wooooooooooooo! (Ric Flair style) and “Woo Woo Woo – You Know It!”.   
 
Devon Ryan Martinez:  Top five factions in wrestling history in your opinion.
 
I think it would be The Dangerous Alliance, Evolution, The nWo, DX and of course, The Horsemen.
 
Jay Mercer:  Top ten favorite tag teams?
 
In no particular order, it would be The Midnight Express (Lane and Eaton), The Enforcers (Anderson and Zbyszko), The Anderson Brothers (Ole and Gene), Ric Flair and Blackjack Mulligan, The APA, The Boogie Knights (Alex Wright & Disco Inferno), KRONIK (Clark and Adams), Edge & Christian, The Hollywood Blondes (Austin and Pillman) and finally The Main Attraction (Chris Steele and Scott Powers).  
 
And with that, let’s have some more words to live by…
 
Quotable Quotes II…
 
‘ “Exciting” is a dull world to describe the wrestling business.’ – Alexander ‘Saint Alex’ Nderitu
 
“I spent my life – all my life – learning to wrestle. It’s the only means of livelihood I’ve ever had and, uh, the only gimmick that I have in wrestling is wrestling.” – Lou Thesz
 
“The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Vince Russo has been there in which case the grass is most likely dead.” – Jim Cornette
 
And now, how about a little fantasy wrestling.  Yeppers, back by popular demand from no one, it is….
 
One On One…
 
This is where I indulge the fantasy booker buried deep inside and  wonder what would happen and who would win if a wrestler of today’s genre was to face up and go against someone from the past.  It’s all speculation folks, but damn if it ain’t fun.  Cesaro has looked really impressive as late in his new role as the newest “Paul Heyman Guy”.  So why don’t we match the “Swiss Superman” against a former “Paul Heyman Guy”, a man who was Heyman before being Heyman was cool. I’m talking about a former member of the WCW based “Dangerous Alliance” from 1991 – 92 WCW.  I’m talking about “Ravishing” Rick Rude.
 
Cesaro versus “Ravishing” Rick Rude
 
Would this be an awesome match or what?  I think that Cesaro would have the strength and power edge.  Rude was amazingly strong as well, but didn’t tend to rely on it quite as much, prefering to use wrestling holds and the occasional high impact move to set his opponent up for the “Rude Awakening”.  
 
Casaro is a good wrestler and his forearm shots are second to none.  Rude is a tremendous wrestler as well and not above taking a shortcut to get the advantage.  This match would be stiff and brutal and just a total thrill and joy.  And in the end, I think that (just barely), we’d see Rude manage to evade a forearm shot and catch Cesaro with his finisher, giving the new kid on the Paul Heyman block a “rude awakening” for the pin.
 
Winner:  Ravishing Rick Rude
 
And now finally, let’s do that thing that ya’ll do so well, the ultimate guessing game called…
 
Who Am I?
 
Last week, I asked you this…
 
Long before there was a “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, I was cussing and swearing up a storm on TV in defense of my niece, my ray of “sunshine”, who had been run out of a Dallas based promotion by a future Freebird and his precious little valet.  I also had a great run against a “handsome half-breed” and a lady giant, as well as the trainer and mentor of “Stone Cold” and his valet / wife before losing a match and leaving the territory.  I was known as a 2×4 carrying former truck driver, but actually had an interesting career before then. I was trained by the legendary Mildred Burke and was the first female wrestler to go against Terrible Ted, The Wrestling Bear, in two matches in 1973.  I retired not long after my departure from Texas and passed away in 1996.  Who Am I?
 
And the answer was none other than lady wrestler Tanya West, also known in the World Class region as Sunshine’s 2×4 carrying, truck driving Aunt, Stella Mae French.
 
Correctly answering were:  Andy Clarke, Harold Schwan, Jason Vinduska, Russell Jackson, Michael Materacky and Ryan Springer.  Great job people.  And now, for the newbie…
 
I’ve shared a name with a god, been part of an Alliance where I was really gangsta, and I love Fridays.  I’ve only had a few matches, but my no-holds barred character has always stood out and left a strong impression.  Who Am I?
 
Think you know the answer?  Drop me a line at Doug28352@yahoo.com and let me know who you think this person is.  Or come visit me at Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/saltpalace.  Add me as a friend too.  You know you want to.
 
And with that, I am out of here my friends.  Thank you for reading.  Have a great weekend and once again, Happy Mothers Day to everyone.  I’m Doug and I’m down and gone.  Take it sleazy.
 
Ubuntu!
 
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