I found something called an “Interview With Myself”. It’s not too much different than the surveys that I like to do sometimes except that the questions are a little more on the serious side. You know that I have to do it, right? So let’s just do it…
Before I get going, I’d like to thank myself for agreeing to this interview with me. I’ve been a big fan of myself for a long time and it’s a thrill and honor for me to sit down with myself and ask myself these questions. I can’t wait to hear how I answer.
And now, if I’m ready, shall I begin? Let’s get started, shall I?…
1. What Do You Do For A Living?
I do many things including write this blog that you’re reading, write the occasional wrestling column, write fan-fiction stories, pick up contributions for Hope In Christ Ministries and their food bank, give great massages and sleep. But the thing I do to earn a paycheck and pay my bills is work in retail, providing great customer service to the men and women of Scotland County at the local store that distributes Fine Spirits.
2. Who Do You Love?
I love my friends, my family, my cat, myself, etc. No particular person right now am I “in love” with, but I have a great many that I care for and appreciate, some more strongly than others.
3. Do You Have Enough Money?
Unfortunately, not really. The bills and expenses generally tend to add up to more than my current income, but I adjust and get by as best I can. There are many others in far worse financial shape than I am and I’m pretty good at stretching a dollar and managing my money. Would I like to make more? Absolutely, but money isn’t everything and I’d rather be struggling and be generally happy / content than have a ton of money and be miserable.
4. Are You Healthy?
Nope, not really. I live in daily pain and while some days are better than others, I hurt constantly. I also suffer from depression, anxiety and am moody as hell. Some may call it bi-polar, but I jujst blame that on being a writer. We’re supposed to be crazy. So am I healthy? If I ever actually went to a doctor and got a full physical, blood work, x-rays and everything else, I would either be put on medication the rest of my life and declared to be disabled or else they would just put a “condemned” sign around my neck and tell me to get the hell out of their office. I wish I was joking on this, but it is what it is. I’ll be okay though. I’m too damn stubborn not to be.
5. Do You Think You Are a Good Person?
I think that for the most part, I am pretty decent. I don’t think I’ve ever intentionally ever hurt anyone and I try to look out for others whenever I can. That’s a question more for others to answer though instead of me.
6. How Old Are You?
Physically, I am the big “50”. Mentally, it varies from day to day and moment to moment. Age is just a number anyhow.
7. Who’s Your Best Friend?
I have several people who would fit that description, each in a different way. But currently, my BFF and the Jay to my Silent Bob is the infamous K-Mak, aka Kenneth. It’s an odd relationship and most people don’t get it because of the age difference and the lack of things in common, but he’s my little brother, my best friend and a great guy. Age doesn’t matter. Like I said earlier, it’s just a number. And the stuff we don’t necessarily share in common or agree on, so what? We connected, almost from Day 1. I get him and surprisingly enough, he seems to get me too. It is what it is and despite the occasional bumpy trail, I know that when push comes to shove, he’s got my back, no questions asked and he knows I’ll alaways have his as well.
8. What’s Your Childhood Dream?
When I was a youngster, I wanted to be one of three things. Either a professional wrestler, a writer or a weather man. Now, I write about professional wrestling, along with about a million other things, so I think that’s a happy compromise. As for the weather man part, I look out the window to see if it’s raining or not. That’s about as far as it goes.
9. How Often Do You Laugh?
Internally, I laugh quite often. I’m a hilarious guy and I amuse the hell out of myself. But externally, not very often. I might crack a smile every so often and that wicked little smirk likes to show up sometimes too, but a real and true laugh, it’s a rare thing to see.
10. What Makes You Smile?
A funny joke, Kayden cutting up, a guy with a great ass and a great smile, getting to sleep the whole night through without interruptions, Are You Being Served, and someone playing with my hair.
11. Who’s Your Most Dangerous Enemy?
Myself. No one else is allowed to get close enough to harm me or cause me problems. Every major problem I’ve ever had was a direct result of my own bad judgement or an error I made, even if it was just trusting the wrong person or having faith in someone who didn’t deserve it. The old saying is that “the buck stops here”, and in my life, that’s how I feel. I can’t blame anyone but myself.
12. Where Do You Live?
Right here, in my home, where I’m at…
13. Do You Think You’re Strong?
That I haven’t stepped out in front of an 18-Wheeler or gone on a mass shooting spree as of yet… Yes, I am kind of strong or at least very resiliant.
14. What Was The Most Important Thing You’ve Done So Far?
That’s a hard question to answer. I think the work I’ve done with Hope In Christ is pretty important and had made an impact. I like to think I’ve reached out and touched some people with my writing over the years. But I guess it’s just trying to be a good son to my Mom, a good “human” to my cat, a good friend to my friends and a semi-decent person at least to the world at large.
15. What Was The Most Stupid Thing You’ve Done So Far?
Do we have all day? Allowing others to influence me and making bad decisions as a result. The DWI’s back in 1997. Danny and James. Chris. Letting my temper get the best of me many times. Letting others take advantage and take me for granted. Not staying in Wilmington when I had the opportunity and coming back to Laurinburg. Take your pick.
16. Do You Love Yourself?
At times, I do, but at other times, not so much. I’ve done so many stupid things and made some bad calls in my life and that’s a hard thing to look past. I’m getting better at thinking about myself more often and that’s a good thing, but it’s a love / hate deal at best.
17. What Do You Fear The Most?
Being alone and forgotten when I get older. I am essentially a loner and prefer my own company over that of others, but to be totally alone and not have anyone to talk to or share things with, the idea scares the hell out of me. And also, being unable to take care of myself and having to depend on others. I see how certain members of my family live and that’s not living. It’s just existing and waiting to die. If I couldn’t be independent and self-sufficent, I’d rather be dead. And I just want someone, one day, that I can share my life and experiences with as I get older. It doesn’t look as if that will ever be happening though.
18. What Is Your Favorite Word?
“Bird”… cause “Bird is the word!”… Just ask Peter Griffin on Family Guy.
19. When Was The Last Time You Cried?
Last night. I was having an anxiety attack, I was pissed off, and I couldn’t blow properly into the Ignition Lock on my car, so now I have a violation that I’ll have to go get taken care of on Wednesday morning in Southern Pines. That’s a lot of money I don’t have that I’ll be having to spend to have the machine recalibrated and I’ll eventually have to go to a hearing at the DMV Office because of this as well, where they could end up revoking my drivers license. Thinking about it all is almost making me want to cry right now. But anyhow, I have anxiety attacks sometimes and depending upon the severity of the attack, tears are a pretty common thing.
20. What Is The Best Thing That Could Happen To You Right Now?
Right now? My phone would start ringing and a certain friend from New York, who I’ve been a total ass too, would be calling and we could talk. Or I’d go to Facebook and get an IM from someone wanting to hang out right now. I’m not really in a mood to be alone right now and wish I had someone to just sit outside with on the porch to talk to.
21. What Is The Worst Thing That Could Happen To You Right Now?
I could fall over dead in this chair and before I had a chance to clear my browser history. That would be terrible.
22. Picture Yourself In 5 Years From Now
Hopefully, still alive and breathing. Still working at the ABC, but hopefully full time by then. Writing and blogging every day. Living here alone most likely with a bunch of cats. And all slim and sexy and looking like Rob Lowe… lol
23. Do You Regret Anything?
There are many things in my life that I have regrets about. I try not to dwell on them too much because what’s done is done and there’s nothing I can do to change the past. Plus every experience, both good and bad, is a lesson to be learned from. So yes, I have regrets. We all do. We just adjust as best we can and move on.
24. What’s The First Thing You Do In The Morning?
Wake up, get out of bed, get tangled up in my blanket, put on pants and go pee.
25. What Are You Thinking Just Before Going To Bed?
It varies from night to night, but usually it’s either about the people in my life, past and present, or about the fiction stories that I’ve written or am writing. Some of my best plots and stories come when I’m trying to go to sleep.
26. What Was The Highest Point You’ve Ever Been To?
I really don’t know. I guess it would be Pilot Mountain, NC or Blowing Rock when I was a kid. I’ve never been a big fan of high places.
27. If There’s One Thing In Your Life You Want To Change Right Now, What Is It?
I want someone here, by my side, that I can trust and love and who will always be there for me. I’m tired of being alone.
28. What Are You Proud Of?
My writing. I’ve been writing in some capacity for over twenty years and when I’m on and in the zone, some of the stuff is pretty damn good. Admittingly, some of it is pretty lame too, but I think the good exceeds the bad. I’m a writer, damn it, and I’m proud.
29. Sum Up Your Life In One Sentence
Walking that edge and not quite sure which road to follow.
30. Name The Thing That Annoys You The Most.
People… ‘Nuff said!
31. What Is Your No 1 Question To God?
I’m really not sure what I’d ask. Why is there so much suffering in the world? What is the one true religion or is there even such a thing? Why are we here? What is your plan for us? Who let the dogs out? I honestly don’t know and if given the chance, I guess I’d just have to wing it and play it by ear with whatever the first question that comes to mind might be. It could be anything.
32. Do You Have Secrets?
Everyone has secrets of some type. Some have more than others and some secrets are bigger than others, but we all have them. And yes, that includes me, although with these surveys and all of my blogs over the past years, I probably have fewer than most people. The answers are all there. You just have to know where to look. Or just ask me. That’ll work too.
33. What Makes You Laugh?
Things that are funny.. or dark & twisted, depending upon my mood.
34. Are You Happy?
Not really. I have my moments, but overall, things could be better.
And with that, I’d like to thank me for sitting down with me and allowing me to ask these questions of myself. And thanks to all of you for reading. Questions and comments are welcome. And now, I’m going over to Netflix to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Have a great night.