Bo, Axel and the Scary Rock!… (WWE Fiction Story)
Starring: The Social Outcasts
Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas, WWE Superstars and former members of the Social Outcasts, are enjoying a day off and exploring the local woods.
“How does this Pokeman Go thing work again?”, Axel asked Dallas as he kept staring at his phone. “I don’t get it!”
“I don’t get it either”, Bo admitted. “But Truth and Goldust told me that it was fun and if I just bo-lieve, we could catch a Pick-Your-Nose or whatever that thing is called.”
“So you don’t have a clue?”, Axel asked. “Really? Really?”
“One more ‘really’ and you’ll start sounding like the Miz”, Bo laughed.
“One more smart remark like that and I’ll lay you out!”, Axel snarled. “I swear, I wish Rose or even Sandow was here. They were never this annoying?”
“Well… I wish Heath was here cause he’s never that annoying either”, Bo shot back.
Axel cast a sideways glance over at Bo, raising his eyebrows.
“Okay, so Heath is annoying… but I still miss him”, Bo admitted. “I wish that Shane or Steph would make up their minds and draft him already so he could come back on the road with us.”
“Well, he’s a free agent now so I’m sure he’ll be signed soon”, Axel replied. “It’s hot out here and I’m getting tired.”
“Probably because of that big backpack you’re wearing”, Dallas noted. “What’s all in that thing anyhow?”
“Bottles of water, some snacks and a few essentials. I don’t want us to get lost in these woods, get dehydrated and die.”
“These woods are only about two miles thick and we have our cell phones”, Dallas said. “We’re WWE Superstars and two hunking men in great shape and in possession of great survival skills. We will be okay… if we just bo-lieve.”
“Quit doing that”, Axel scowled. “You don’ t hear me shouting out my catch-phrase ever five seconds, do you?”
“Only because you don’t have a good catch phrase”, Bo laughed. “Axe Man? Yee-haw or whatever it is you shout sometimes?”
Bo let out a big sigh of exasperation.
“Well at least I don’t have a crazy brother”, Axel said in response.
“What’s that, Brother Nero”, Bo laughed.
“If anyone is a ‘Brother Nero’ around here”, Axel said, “it’s you.”
“Why do you say that?”, Bo asked.
“You’ve got a crazy brother who thinks he’s a cult leader and calls himself the ‘eater of worlds’. That just whacked. And your dad? He thinks he’s an agent of the IRS? More crazy! So if anyone is a ‘Brother Nero’, then it’s you!”
“Yeah, like your dad is so perfect”, Bo shot back.
Axel just turned and looked at him.
“Oh yeah”, Bo said, his voice lowering in defeat. “Let’s go find us a Pokeman!”
“Forget that”, Axel said. “Let’s find a comfortable place in the shade and take a break. I’m getting tired.”
“That’s the second time you said that”, Bo noted.
“Then maybe we should do something about it. A fifteen minute break, okay?”
“Find with me”, Bo said. “But where?”
“Look over there”, Axel said.
Bo looked to where Axel was pointing and there was this huge rock.
“We can go over by that rock and take a breather”, Axel said. “Let’s go!”
“Is it safe?”, Bo asked. “I don’t want to see any snakes.”
“Or spiders either”, Axel said. “We’ll look first and make sure that there aren’t any spiders or snakes around.”
“Okay”, Bo said.
“And then we’ll take a break.”
Bo and Axel walked up to the big rock and after careful examination to make sure that nothing creepy, crawly or slitherly was near the rock, sat down at the far side of the rock in the shade.
“Man, this feels good”, Axel said as he reached into his bag and pulled out two bottles of water, handing one to Bo.
“This is relaxing”, Bo admitted as he took the bottle of water and took a long drink.
Bo and Axel sat there, enjoying the sounds of nature and the silence, just relaxing and taking it all in. Axel could feel his eyes getting heavy and he glanced over at Bo, noting that Dallas already had his eyes closed, his breathing slowed and a soft wheezing sound coming from his mouth.
“Damn, Bo is asleep already”, Axel laughed. “And that’s not a bad idea. Just for a few minutes!”
And with that thought in his mind, Axel stretched and then closed his eyes, quickly drifting off into a light sleep.
Neither man was sure how long they rested there in the shadow of that big rock when suddenly they were both jolted awake by a loud noise.
“Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow Ow”, the noise echoed in the air around them.
“Did you hear that?”, Bo asked Axel.
“No”, Axel said, an alarmed expression on his face. “I didn’t hear anything!”
Bo looked at Axel and then shrugged.
“Okay, me neither”, Bo sighed and then sat back, closing his eyes once more.
Axel watched Bo and then thought to himself, “Bo didn’t hear nothing and it’s just my imagination. I’m going to finish my nap!”
As Bo and Axel both began to doze off once more, another crazy sound filled the air.
“What did you say Bo?”, Axel asked.
“I didn’t say anything”, Bo replied. “Now quit waking me up. I’m trying to enjoy nature and take a nap.”
Then, another loud noise echoed through the air.
“Woooooop Wooooop Whoooop!”,
This time Axel sat up.
“Stop playing and making those funny noises Bo”, he said. “I’m trying to sleep!”
“It wasn’t me”, Bo said. “I thought it was you.”
“No, it wasn’t me”, Axel said.
“Yes it was”, Bo said.
“No, it wasn’t”, Axel shot back.
And the two men argued back and forth for a few moments and then…
“YIP! YIP! YIP! YIP!”
“Oh crap, it’s the Rock”, Axel said, grabbing his backpack and quickly starting to step away from the large rock.
“Wait Axe-Man”, Dallas said as he watched Axel start running away from the large rock. “Rocks can’t make noises!”
“Well, that one did”, Axel said. “And I don’t like it!”
“You’re just a scardy-cat”, Bo said to his friend. “Wait until I tell the guys about this!”
“I’m not afraid”, Axel said, his lips sticking out in a pout. “I just don’t like rocks that make noises.”
“Well, let’s find out why”, Bo said. “It has to be something simple.”
“Yeah, like a ghost”, Axel said.
“There are no such things as ghosts”, Bo said. “Maybe we’re on SWERVED?”
“Hmmmm… maybe?”, Axel said. “But those sounds? Those noises?”
“Let’s go figure out what it is”, Bo said, taking Axel by the arm and leading him back towards the rock.
“I’m coming”, Axel said as he jerked his arm away from Bo. “You go first!”
Bo and Axel walked back towards the big old rock. It didn’t make a sound. They stepped a little closer and the rock said… nothing. Bo and Axel walked right up to the rock, right to the place where they had been resting… and there was nothing but silence.
“See? Nothing!”, Bo smiled.
“YaYaYaYaYaYaYa!”, suddenly cried out, the scream filling the air.
“We’re dead!”, Axel shouted!’
“What?”, Bo said.
“We’re dead!”, Axel repeated. “The rock is going to eat us up!”
“Rocks don’t eat WWE Superstars”, Bo said, getting a strange look upon his face. “Vince wouldn’t let them.”
Bo stared at the rock and then shouted, “Who is making that noise?”
The rock didn’t say anything.
“Who is making that noise?”, Bo shouted once more.
And the rock again didn’t say anything.
“Who is making that noise?”, Bo asked one final time, his voice just barely a whisper.
Both Axel and Bo jumped back in surprise.
“We’re dead!”, Axel muttered.
“Be quiet”, Bo said. “I have an idea. Give me your backpack.”
“My backpack?”, Axel asked. “Why?”
“Just hand it here”, Bo said. “Now!”
Axel handed Bo his backpack and Bo quickly reached into the pack. He pulled out a bottle of water. Bo took the bottle of water and threw it at the noise.
“Ow!”, said the noise.
Bo reached into the pack and pulled out two more bottles of water. He threw them at the noise.
“Ow! Ow!”, said the noise.
Bo reached into the pack once more and this time pulled out a jar of ass-cream.
“Ass-cream?”, he asked, looking at Axel.
“It belongs to Christian. I’m holding it for him”, Axel said.
“Whatever?”, Bo said as he pulled a big jar of Jim Ross’s BBQ sauce from the pack. Looking towards the direction of the noise, Bo tossed the jar of BBQ sauce in that direction.
“OUCH!”, a voice cried out. “Damn, that hurt!”
“Come on out from behind that rock, Heath. I know it’s you!”, Bo shouted.
And out came Heath Slater, smiling broadly and rubbing his head where he had been hit by the jar of BBQ sauce.
“Hi guys!”, Heath smiled at the two men.
“Heath, what the hell are you doing here?”, Axel asked.
“Well, I was looking for the two of you and I saw you guys laying here against this rock and decided to have some fun”, Heath laughed. “You should have seen the look on your faces, especially yours Axe-Man! It was hilarious!”
“I told you rocks can’t talk”, Bo said, laughing at his friend.
Axel just glared at the two men and then starting picking up the bottles of water and BBQ sauce and putting them back in his backpack.
“You are both ass-clowns!”, Axel snarled. “I’m leaving!”
Heath and Bo watched as Axel stalked off.
“Should we follow him?”, Heath asked Bo, a concerned look on his face.
“No, not yet”, Bo said. “He’ll just go back to the car and pout. I have the keys. We’ll just give him a few minutes first.”
“If you say so”, Heath said.
“So why are you here”, Bo asked his friend. “Why were you looking for us?”
“Well, you know I didn’t get drafted and I’m the hottest free agent in WWE history, right?”, Heath said.
“Yeah”, Bo said.
“Well, I’ve got a plan for Smackdown Live!”, Heath said. “This is going to get me back on the road to the top.”
“Tell me your plan”, Bo said.
“It’s all about making an impact”, Heath said. “And that’s exactly what I’m going to do… because I’m the one man band, baby!”
“Let’s go get Axel and you can tell us both”, Bo said.
“Let’s go get some chinese food too!”, Heath said. “Making rocks talk makes me hungry!”
“Axel was right. You are an ass-clown”, Bo said.
“But you missed me”, Heath said.
“I didn’t”, Bo said. “But Axel did!”
“Really?”, Heath smiled.
“Really”, Bo said. “Didn’t you say something about chinese?”
“Get Axel, get some chinese food and I’ll tell you my plans.”
“Sounds good!”, Bo smiled. “I bo-lieve that’s a plan!”
And with that, Bo and Heath started walking to go find their friend.