October 15, 2017
It’s pretty crazy some of the questions that you’ll find being asked on your Facebook timeline. People love to be nosy, but luckily for them (and you), I have no secrets and don’t mind answering even the craziest of questions. I have no shame and nothing to hide. Well, maybe the body buried in the back yard, but he was an ass-clown and pissed me off so that’s not a big deal. And maybe the story of that time with the police officer in the back of his car. That is something that I’ll never talk about (unless you want me to… lol). Who ever knew that handcuffs could be so much fun? And they weren’t even the fuzzy ones. Oh well, people ask questions and I’m making with the answers, cause that’s what I do. Let’s get busy, shall we? (That’s what he said!) Let’s do this…
1. What are three regrets that you have?
That I never had children of my own (I would have made a great dad), that my Dad and I were on the outs in the last few years before he passed away, and that I didn’t stay in Wilmington back in ’97 and came back to Laurinburg instead. (I was a dumb-ass and was in love… *sighs*)
2. If you were to write a book, what would it be about?
It would be a compilation book in the style of Andy Rooney, the grumpy old man who used to be on “60 Minutes” where I put together about thirty or forty of my “Days of Dougie” pieces.
3. If you had unlimited funds to start a business, what kind of business would it be?
I’d love to have a shop / store that has junk, both old and new, like a consignment shop or the Habitat place. A permanent yard sale with the merchandise and items for sale changing day to day inside a small building. And of course, I’d have a computer set up and a corner of the business would be the “home office” of my site, DougMaynard.com.
4. Do animals have souls?
Look into their eyes and at their faces. I think they do. After all, animals are people too.
5. Are you happy?
Nope, not really. I have moments of contentment, but for the most part, I haven’t found my slice of happiness yet. I’m lonely, in pain most of the time and have very few people I can depend on and truly trust and confide in. I have friends, but it’s not right to add my burdens to theirs and thus, I just exist, not live. It’s a rough way to go sometimes, but it is what it is and I’m used to it. I used to wish I could be happier, but now, I’ll just settle for not being totally miserable all the time and take what I can get. Damn, that sounds bad. I need a good man or three. *sighs* And to learn to loosen back up a bit. Maybe one day.
6. Does Laurinburg need a new City Hall? Why or why not?
Nope. We can’t afford it and there are far more important things to worry about, such as high unemployment, dozens of empty buildings lining Main Street, streets flooding when it rains, high taxes, high crime, high teen pregnancy rate, high drug use and so many other things. Laurinburg needs to do things to bring new jobs to the community and make the town better and safer. A new City Hall won’t do that and will only lead to an increase in water bills and city taxes, despite what our current city council is trying to say (they lie).
7. Do you prefer the beach or the mountains?
The beach during the cold months and winter and the mountains during the hot months and summer.
8. What’s the biggest differnce between you ten years ago and now? Twenty years ago?
Ten years ago and even twenty years ago, I was far more outgoing, far happier and actually enjoyed being around people. I still trusted people. Now, I build up my walls, that only a few can get through, I get anxiety at the thought of being around people and going out in public and my first reaction to most people is “what do they want?”. I was better and much nicer back in day. Now, I’m just a grumpy and lonely, sad old man.
9. When you’re not you, who are you?
I’m always me, but I do have a few alter egos that are extensions of me, the parts of me that you don’t really get to (or want to see) all that much. Only one of them is significant enough to have a real name, Vincent Paul Phillips, who’s a real ass-clown at times. He’s a bit outspoken, even more than I am, and has no pride or shame. I think he’s also a bit gay, but that’s just rumor. I also had a rapper alter-ego for a little bit, called “Salty D”. He might show up eventually, especially with the recent comments by Eminem about President Trump. He’s inside wanting to get out and give Eminem a reply or two about his comments. Who knows if that’s going to happen or not. And I remember for a while that there was “Hobbes”. Remember my column, “Six Minutes”? That was him and he’s my fuzzy, feline self and a bad-ass cat. Yes, I have other personalities and they’re all cool. But they’re all me too… sort of.
And there you go. I think that’s enough for now. Time to go watch my favorite movie, well one of them anyhow, “Rent!”. I love that movie. Questions and comments are welcome. Talk to me, my Peeps! And until the next time, stay safe. Love ya – mean it!