Notes To Myself VI – February 9, 2018

Notes To Myself VI
February 9, 2018
DougMaynard.com

I have just a few minutes before I have to go get ready for work, but I wanted to quickly touch upon a few topics of conversation from yesterday. It was a typical, albeit slightly busier than usual Thursday at the store. This town certainly loves their liquor. And as usual, the conversations went from the routine (nice weather, what about that Super Bowl, The Heels play Duke tonight) to things a little more out there and slightly bizarre. I took a few notes on some of the more odd topics, but instead of letting these notes pile up on my desk, only to fade into obscurity, I’m going to try to touch on them now and get ‘er done, if you will. This way, the clutter won’t pile up and you, my loyal readers (all seven of you) get something new and fresh for the site. It’s a win – win. Let’s do this…

Marlon Brando and Richard Pryor were lovers and had a fling. Yes, you heard me correctly. According to Quincy Jones and confirmed by Pryor’s widow, the late comedian, Richard Pryor was bisexual and had, for a time, a fling with Marlon Brando. I’m just trying to picture this in my head. Was it the sexy Brando from the 50’s and 60’s and even early 70’s when he was still skinny and hot or was it the bloated and fat Brando from the late 70’s and early 80’s? I could go look and find out, but I’m just trying to comprehend. Richard Pryor was an amazing comic and actor and one of the funniest men of his era. And Brando, well, he’s Marlon Brando. Legendary actor and movie icon. Those are not two names that I would have figured to be hooking up and getting their nasty on together. It’s just crazy. I don’t know why I’m shocked. Hell, I’m middle-aged, fat and semi-crazy and I’ve pulled some amazing hotties in the sexy man department to my bed many times so it’s not a look thing. I think it’s just a “it’s Marlon Brando” thing instead. I just never would have thought Richard Pryor though. Eddie Murphy maybe, but not Pryor. Oh well…

I found out also yesterday that one of my regular customers does podcasting. He, along with his buddies, sit around and drink wine and liquor and talk about anything and everything. Reminds me of a few others guys I know who have an incredible podcast called SMF Cyberspace. You may have heard of it. It’s on YouTube and some links are on my site as well. Check them out. As for this guy, he’s a cool dude and I intend to find out more. Keep an eye out and we’ll see what happens. Film at 11:00.

A flower shop is trying to screw over a member of my family. I’m thinking about getting all the details and calling them out and blasting them here, on Facebook and Twitter and give them some major publicity of the not so nice kind if they don’t get their crap together. I have to get the details first and all the info, but there may be a major social-media blast coming very soon. I’m getting pissed off and believe me, no one wants that to happen. Can we say, “Dougie Smash!”.

Did you see the video. Speaking of crap (and I did in the last paragraph), a Philadelphia Eagles fan, celebrating the big Super Bowl win on Sunday, in a scene directly out of the movie Pink Flamingos, pulled a “Divine” and ate some horse poop. And of course, it was filmed and went viral. TMZ covered it too and the video is everywhere. I’ll share it too of course. But what the hell was this guy thinking? I don’t care how much you’re celebrating and how excited you are, you don’t get on your knees and eat horse poop… or any kind of poop. First it was eating the Tide Pods and now, eating horse crap. What the hell is wrong with these people? And of course, everyone was cheering the idiot on and happily watching and filming. Why didn’t someone stop that jackass and ask him, “Do you really want to be known as the guy who eats horse shit?”. Doesn’t he have friends? Well, probably not anymore because who wants to be known as the guy who’s “best friend eats horse shit”? What the hell was he thinking? I’ve done some stupid things in my life, but luckily there were not any phone cameras and TMZ to record my antics, but I can honestly say that nothing I’ve done compares to the sheer insanity and craziness that is this. The man was eating horse poop. At least it was fresh and still warm, but still. Oh vey!

And finally, there were some folks in the store. One was a heavy-set woman who was dressed, shall we say kind of trashy, with a dress that was way too small and rode up way too high for her body type. And she had on a pair of boots too. And she was making her purchase and a couple of guys came in. They all knew each other and were screaming (talking) back and forth, exchanging hugs and what-not. And the woman, talking to one of the guys, called him out about how he had told her at some point in the past that she couldn’t be his girlfriend because she was too heavy. And well, he muttered something and she went on to say, “I’ve lost thirty pounds”. I was watching and trying to make our sales transaction and was wondering “where?”. Anyhow, she was going on and turned to the other guy and said, and I kid you not, “all these cunts are the same anyhow”. So he won’t date her because she’s too big and her reply is that he should because “all these cunts are the same anyhow”. That was it for. I just handed the woman her change, stepped back and threw my arms up. I was totally out of it at that point. And she wasn’t even embarassed or anything. She’s talking about throwing out some sex and her stuff is just as good as anyone elses because they’re all the same. They (the woman and her friends) all went outside to finish their classic conversation and I just shook my head. I looked at my co-worker, who had heard it all as well and pulled a Booker. “Tell me she didn’t just say that!”. He just shook his head and said, “Yeah, she said that!”. My, how times have changed. People today have no shame or self-respect. Or fashion sense either, but that’s a rant for another day. Again, I can only say, “Oh vey!”

And that’s all for now. I think between Brando and Pryor getting it on, a guy eating horse crap, and a beastly looking woman talking about her stuff, it made for a helluva day. And it’s not even the weekend yet. I wonder what surprises today will bring?

Thank you for reading. I’ve got to go get ready for work now and do all of that responsible adult stuff that comes along with that responsibility. I’d rather be watching Netflix and talking to men on MeetMe. Until the next time, my friends, take care and I’ll see you later. Have a great one.

Ubuntu!

102bf-two2bsquirrels

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