Tossing Salt Presents:
One On One
Wrestlers versus Themselves (Part 2 of 2)
March 6, 2018
It’s often said that people are their own worst enemy. This very special edition of One On One takes that thought to a whole different level. It’s various superstars, who have wrestled under different identities and characters, matched up against themselves. What was the better character? Which character was better in the ring and on the mic? What character would win if we had a machine that would allow up to split these men and women up and all of their assorted characters to have shape and form and participate in multi-person matches. It’s time to find out. This is Part 2 of 2 parts. Let’s do this…
Dustin Rhodes versus Goldust versus Black Reign versus Seven
Black Reign and Seven would last just about as long as their characters, not long as all. They sucked. And it comes down at the end between the “Natural” and the odd one. Most people like Goldust better and he is indeed a phenomenal character, but Dustin was the better “wrestler” when he was doing his thing down in WCW, challenging for the U.S. title and teaming up with Rick Steamboat in tag team competition. Goldust may deliver some “shattered dreams”, but it is the tag team partner of Barry Windham and the man who fought the Blacktop Bully on the back of a flatbed truck that would come out on top in this match.
Winner: Dustin Rhodes
Al Snow versus Leif Cassidy versus Avatar (Special Referee: Head)
Leif Cassidy was a goof and Avatar wore a freakin’ jockstrap on his head. I think the referee here, Head, is biased, but this match would be short and sweet, as befits the founder of the “Job Squad” and Al Snow, he who really created Mr. Socko, would lay out his opponents and bring home that win, proving that when it comes to being in that ring, performing as himself, he was truly Tough Enough.
Winner: Al Snow
Kane versus Issac Yankem versus Doomsday versus Unabomb versus Christmas Creature
This fatal five-way match would be one of monsterous proportions as all sorts of insane and crazed characters go at it and try to destroy each other. Unabomb would meet his Doomsday and Issac Yankem, DDS, would give them all root canals. The Christmas Creature would be choke-slammed to hell by the big red machine, Kane. And although a dentist is the most foul, disgusting and evil creature on earth… just watch the video with Steve Martin, Kane is from the pits of hell, just south of Parts Unknown and would decimate each and every opponent, even those that are himself.
Joe Hennig versus Curtis Axel versus Michael McGillicutty versus Axelmania
Joe is the real deal, trained by Harley Race and everything a wrestler should be, but over. Axel was “better than perfect” and has now found his calling as part of the Miztourage, along with Bo Dallas. McGillicutty was a multiple time tag team Champion and a big part of the Nexus. And Axelmania? He was never eliminated from the Royal Rumble and ran wild all over the WWE. This match would be an interesting clash of characters of a man who is allowed to be everything but himself. And when the final bell rings, I think that the Alexmaniacs would scream loud and rejoice. Curtis Axel was a “Paul Heyman Guy”, but Axelmania was the strongest force in the Universe for it’s time, brother.
Molly Holly versus Mighty Molly versus Miss Madness versus Starla Saxton
Starla Sexton was just getting her feet wet and Miss Madness wrestled wearing a dress. What was up with that? Mighty Molly was a true super-hero and the partner of the Hurricane, but it was the crazy cousin of those damn Holly’s… the woman who had her head shaved at Wrestlemania, who was truly the great wrestler, the great performer and who would win this match.
Winner: Molly Holly
Brutus Beefcake versus Dizzy Hogan versus The Zodiac versus The Booty Man versus The Disciple
This is the ultimate match that no one would want to see. If all of Ed Leslie’s characters were thrown into one match, it’d be a Battle Royal and not just this Fatal-Five-Way. Zodiac was a traitor to the Dungeon of Doom and I hate traitors so he’sdefinitely not going to win. Booty Man was an idiot and the Disciple, I don’t know what the hell he was trying to do there or supposed to be so he gets the big boot(y) and is eliminated too. And it’s between Brutus Beefcake and Dizzy Hogan. I remember seeing Hogan in the Crockett promotions in the early 80’s and he wasn’t that bad or annoying. By the time Leslie moved on to the “Beefcake” characters, he was officially a “stupid idiot”. And Chris Jericho, if he was here, would put him on “the List”, but since Jericho isn’t here, the best we can do is call him a loser. Beefcake loses and Dizzy Hogan wins… brother.
Winner: Dizzy Hogan
“Big” Scott Hall versus Razor Ramon versus American Starship Coyote versus The Diamond Studd versus nWo Scott Hall
Yes, there are two “Scott Hall’s” here. The young buck from Florida who teamed with Curt Hennig and made his name across the NWA territories and then there’s the “Outsider” Scott Hall, who came to WCW and helped form the nWo. The first Scott Hall was a rookie and looked great, but wasn’t really ready for the big time yet. The Diamond Studd was a step up to what he would become later as the “Bad Guy” in the WWF. My personal favorite was seeing Hall as part of the American Starship along with Dan Spivey in the Crockett territory in the early 80’s. They didn’t stay here long, but they made an impression and one could tell that there were two stars waiting to happen. nWo Scott Hall was great and truly a talent to watch, but if we took a little survey here, I think that Razor Ramon would end up taking home this match. Survey says, one more for the “Bad Guy!”.
Winner: Razor Ramon
Kevin Nash versus Diesel versus Oz versus Master Blaster Steel versus Vinnie Vegas
And now we have Hall’s partner, the other half of the Outsiders and founder of the nWo, Kevin Nash. Oz would be turning green with envy at what the other Nash characters have accomplished and the Master Blaster Steel falls into the “What were they thinking?” routine. Vinnie Vegas was a sign of things to come and actually a good eighties-character wrestler. But it’s “Big Daddy Cool” Diesel that really made the most impact, kicked the most ass and dominated for a time as the WWF Champion. And it’s “Big Daddy Cool” that would dominate this match as well.
And there you go. More fantasy booking that you’ve probably never wondered about before and never will again. You’re welcome. So what do you think? Thoughts and comments are welcome and appreciated. And with that, I’m through here. Thank you for reading. Until the next time, have a great one and I’ll see you at the matches. Bye!