Day Of Dougie: Christmas Wish List, Making Medicine & Shucky Ducky Quack Quack…

Day Of Dougie
Christmas Wish List, Making Medicine & Shucky Ducky Quack Quack
November 28, 2018
DougMaynard.com

The jazz music is playing in the background and finally, I’m getting a little time to myself to relax and wallow in my misery. I’m still pissed off about earlier today. It’s a long story (not really) and not worth writing about, but nothing like a slap in the face by reality and having something that was being eagerly anticipated and looked forward to snatched away and instead being spit at in the face. Okay, maybe I’m being overdramatic, but I did get royally screwed pver and the bad thing is, I don’t even think they realize what they’ve done. I love my freakin’ family.

But enough about that. What’s done is done and I’ll deal with it and handle things, as I always do. If nothing else, I’m resilient. Life’s made me that way. Let’s move on so I can relax for a moment, feel the sounds on the music pour into my soul and provide some slight comfort to this bruised and battered psyche. And even more importantly, let’s write and ramble for a bit with some of that “Days of Dougie” magic. Yes, I’m biting my tongue and trying to put on my happy face so I’m going to sit here at the computer and write about cheese. Well, something like that anyhow. We don’t know what the topics of discussion are until we reach into the “Magic Bag” and draw out some topics. Damn, I need a boyfriend. Then I could just bug him with all of my angst and you loyal readers, both of you, wouldn’t have to put up or listen (read) my issues and gear grinding rants. I think I should type up a “boyfriend application” and post it here at the site for guys to fill out. I’ll put that on “the list”. I don’t really need to do that anyhow. After all, I do have social media, MeetMe and Grindr. What more could a middle-aged gay guy want?

But enough of the procrastination. It’s time to get the ball rolling and get to getting on, if you will. Yes, that was a quick tribute to Dusty Rhodes. I had to get a wrestling reference in here somewhere. It’s my schtick, right? Now, where is my “Magic Bag” at? And the topics of the day are: Christmas Wish List, Making Medicine & Shucky Ducky Quack Quack. Those are my topics? Oh vey! Maybe I should just get back to procrastinating and rambling? Nah, I’m committed (or probably should be), so let’s get on with it. I already said “Oh vey”, but sometimes, once just isn’t enough. OH VEY! And away we go…

Shucky Ducky Quack Quack…

This saying is a regular catch-phrase used by former five-time WCW World Champion and WWE Hall of Famer Booker T when he does commentary for matches on RAW, pay-per-views or back when he was working for Impact Wrestling, then known as TNA. And what does it mean? How the hell should I know? I think it’s Booker’s go-to phrase when he’s got nothing else to say or is just trying to sound intelligent and because his usual commentary is so bad, this supposedly does that for him. Don’t get me wrong. Booker is a good wrestler and all that, but as a commentator, he’s not very good at all. Let’s break down the phrase and see if we can figure out what it means.

Shucky is a version of the word “shuck” and the only time I’ve ever heard the word “shuck” used was in reference to peeling the covering off of ears of corn. Or maybe it’s the PG version of “sucky” and if that’s the case, Booker is a pervert and wants to do what to a ducky? Beastiality is BAD! Don’t do it! Ducky can be many things. It can be a name. I know of two people with that name. One is Ducky Medlock, who plays in the band MedRock along with Rocky Covington, the twin brother of former American Idol contestant, Bucky Covington and is taking Nashville by storm. Ducky is an awesome dude and really cool guy and their music is awesome so go look them up on YouTube and check them out.

But I really don’t think that Ducky Medlock is the one that Booker is talking about and that leaves the other “Ducky”, the medical examiner on NCIS. Could he be the one that Booker is referring to with this reference? Well, he is a medical examiner and part of the job of a medical examiner is peeling back or “sucking” the skins of corpses so they can look and attempt to identify what caused the body’s death. I think I’m beginning to see a pattern here. Let’s move on to the last two words which are “Quack Quack”. I don’t think Booker is a duck hunter. I’ve never seen him on Duck Dynasty, but then again, I’ve never seen any black man on Duck Dynasty. I think they might be racist. More on that in a future column.

So what have we figured out here? Booker T, by using this catch-phrase, is obsessed with medical examiners peeling the skin back on bodies. And he had a duck fetish. It’s so obvious. Or he’s just trying to be clever and funny. It isn’t working. Booker, give it up man… please.

Making Medicine…

This is here because people regularly come into my place of employment and buy bottles of liquor. They don’t drink (of course not), but are instead only there to make medicine for coughs and congested chests. Using a liquor called “Rock & Rye” and mixing it with honey and maybe peppermint, an effective and apparently tasty little brew can be made that will clear a chest of congestion quickly. Some people also use moonshine, whiskey, bourbon or gin to make their little home remedies and medicinal beverage. I’ve heard so many speak of how effective these home potions are and I’m not going to argue with them. Hell, a bottle of liquor is cheaper than going to the doctor and people that buy the liquor (but don’t drink) help pay my salary and keep the business going so more power to all of them. Does it work? I don’t know. I’m not a doctor. But I know that people think that these home potions work and it’s mind over matter. If they like it and want to give it a shot, go for it. And that’s probably all I should say about that.

And finally…

Christmas Wish List…

What should I do here? Write a letter to Santa and tell him what I want for Christmas? Sounds like a plan to me. So let me channel my inner 8-year old self and write a quick letter to the man at the North Pole who stalks us all and is the ultimate peeping tom.

Dear Santa,

How are you? I hope all is well. How is Mrs. Claus and the elves? Give them my best. I know you’re busy, but my Day of Dougie project asked me to do a Christmas Wish List and writing it as a letter to you is the best way I can think of to cover the topic and still be slightly entertaining. Is it working? Probably not. I don’t want to be greedy or ask for much, but there are a few things, material and otherwise, I’d like to see if you can help out with. Please keep an eye on my family, blood and otherwise. The past few years have been rough for a lot of them and they deserve a break of good health, happiness and good fortune in every aspect of their lives. If you can throw some good times in their direction, that would be appreciated. You know what I’m talking about.

As for myself, I’ll keep it as simple as possible. Success for the guys at SMF Cyberspace, for my site and for all of the affiliated folks. Maybe a chance to do some wrestling themed podcasts or videos with the folks from BRAD&DERK would be pretty cool. Continued opportunities at work and at the Food Bank to help others and give back to my community. Plenty of cat food for my Straybies and a good man who I can let inside these walls and find happiness with.

I know that some of these requests are pretty vague, but I’m sure you’ll do what you can. Or you can just rig the Powerball so I win a few hundred million dollars and I’ll take care of everything myself. Whichever is easier for you, good sir.

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter. I’ll talk at you later. Merry Christmas!

Your’s Truly…

-Doug

And there you go. I think that covers everything and even if it doesn’t, I’m tired of writing. Time to scour the social media sites and see if I can find my one true love and Mr. Right. Or look at videos on YouTube. One thing or the other. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts and any questions are welcome and can be sent to me here at the site or at my e-mail of Doug28352@yahoo.com. Take care and I’ll catch you later and remember, every day you wake up and see the sun, it must be a Day of Dougie. Have a great one.

Ubuntu!

@00 1 1 12 1 damn the weather

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