12 Dougie Days Of Christmas – Day 8: TV Journalists, It’s A Wonderful Life & ID…

12 Dougie Days of Christmas
Day 8 – TV Journalists, It’s A Wonderful Life & ID
December 16, 2018
DougMaynard.com

How you doing? It’s Saturday night and I’m watching Saturday Night Live. Damn, this show sucks! I remember the days of Belushi, Ackroyd, Radner, Bill Murray and others and the show was amazing and funny back then. (Yes, I’m old.) And then there was the glory years of Murphy, Sandler, Spade, Fairley and the show was great. And now, it has the black guy from that Nick show with the Good Burger guys and… ?? It’s bad. Real bad. Really, really bad! Matt Damon is hosting and I actually like Matt Damon, but it’s not helping. I’m just watching and listening and for some reason, it’s reminding me of a thing I saw earlier about edible molds of buttholes. I guess cause SNL is so full of crap these days.

I’m going to do something else now. How about Day 8 of the “12 Dougie Days Of Christmas” blog series? I need to get caught up anyways and writing about different topics with no advance warning or preparation definitely has to be better that killing my brain cells by watching this garbage. Damn, I picked a helluva week to quit peanut M&M’s. Yes, that was a reference from the movie, Airplane. The best comedy movie of all time. Surely I’m not serious. I am serious and don’t call me Shirley. Let’s go to the Magic Bag and figure out what I’m writing about tonight.

The topics are: TV Journalist, It’s A Wonderful Life & ID.

And now that we know the topics, let’s get busy and write something.

TV Journalists...

A TV journalist is a thing of the past that doesn’t truly exist anymore. Oh yeah, there are people on TV news that claim to be journalists and tell some of the events happening, but they’re not really journalists. A true journalist reports the news by giving relevant information and reporting facts. Not opinion and not hypothetical theories, but just the facts, the truth and nothing but the truth. They leave the decisions and opinions up to the viewers watching and that’s exactly how it should be. If you can listen to a reporter and based on their reporting, know their personal politics and opinions, they’re not journalists or true reporters. They’re opinion based talking heads and fake news. When Walter Cronkite did a newscast, did you know if he was a Democrat or Republican? Did he give his personal opinion of the people he was covering? No, he didn’t and that’s why he was a newsman. He was a true journalist. And now, what do we have? Don Lemon? Jim Ocasta? Rachel Maddow? Sean Hannity? Hannity actually doesn’t claim to be a journalist. He’s an opinion guy and he’ll tell you that. The rest of these quacks though? Oh vey! They’re not journalists. They’re just idiots. Stupid idiots. And you know what happens to stupid idiot talking heads to claim to be unbiased, but spout out nothing but rhetoric and gibberish? You know what happens? They’re on the list! And there you go. Let’s move on.

It’s A Wonderful Life…

This is a legendary movie that stars Jimmy Stewart and is supposed to be a holiday classic, but to tell the truth, I’ve never seen it. I know the basic story in that Stewart is down in the dumps and suicidal, but an angel comes down and makes him realize that life is good and he feels better and the angel gets his wings. But if it’s truly a wonderful life, where are the hookers? Does he have a cat? Did he win the lottery? What is it about his life that makes it so damn wonderful? Inquiring minds want to know. I think I’m getting off the subject here. Oops. I do that sometimes.

So what was I saying? I heard it’s a good movie and if you’re into classic movies with a moral, that’s cool. I’d rather watch Clerks or any other movie starring Jay & Silent Bob instead though. They have dick and fart jokes. That’s what makes a great movie. And when I’m sitting on my couch, chillin’ with my cat and watching “Dogma”, “Mallrats” or “Clerks 2”, that is when I say and know that it truly is a wonderful life.

Damn, that was a convulated mess of words that really didn’t say anything at all. I guess I’ll try to do better with the final topic and that will be…

ID

ID stands for identification It’s what you carry with you to prove you are who you say you are. It’s also what you show when you want to purchase alcohol, cigarettes, lottery tickets, open a bank account, use a credit card, cash a check, enter a court house, rent a car, rent a motel room, buy a bus ticket, board a plane, apply for a job, pick up a certified letter, open a post office box, buy a car, buy insurance, get on a cruise ship or get a loan. Actually, you use an ID for nearly everything under the sun except for voting. Why not voting? Because it’s racist to expect someone to be able to have an ID when they’re voting in an election, but they’re still expected to have one for all of these other things and that’s not a problem. Yes, it’s stupid and I don’t get it either. What’s the problem with having to show who you are to vote? Nothing unless you’re an idiot. Well, I guess I just answered my own question. The people who claim it’s unfair and racist to require ID to allow someone to vote, they’re idiots. Hey, that works for me. Problem solved. Actually, if a person is too stupid to be able to get an ID card, they’re probably too stupid to vote anyhow. Hell, they belong on “The List” too.

And I’m quitting here. I’m getting annoyed and these are supposed to be fun. What’s up with that? I’m going to go mellow out with the sounds of Sammy and Sinatra for a while and get my good mood back. Maybe I’ll listen to some Christmas music. I love that one about the couple and she keeps trying to leave, but stays because of how cold it is outside. That’s a classic.

So this was Day 8. I hope you enjoyed it. Comments, thoughts and any questions welcome and appreciated. My thanks for reading. And now, I’m out. Have a great one and I’ll catch you later.

Ubuntu!

@00 1 1 hard candies meme

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