Questions By Casper XIIII…

Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper XIIII
July 3, 2020
DougMaynard.com

One of the more interesting people that I follow on Twitter is a man named Tyler (The Ghost) Casper. (@tyler_casper) Check him out and give the man some love and a follow. Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah, he asks a lot of questions. And the regular readers of this site know how I am about questions, right? So I went down his Twitter feed and copied several of the most recently asked questions. And now, for your reading pleasure, it’s time to provide a few answers. So are you ready? Let’s do this…

Happy Birthday to me… and Tom Cruise.

What is the most annoying age?

I don’t think it’s an actual age as opposed to an age group. Anything over the age of 40 sucks and just when you think it’s getting better, surprise. I hate getting old, but it’s better than the alternative.

What is the most annoying sounding bird?

A rooster. I hate a screaming cock!

Do you listen to audiobooks?

No, but I probably should. I don’t have the time to read the old fashioned way with written pages and that unique smell. The only audiobook that I’ve listened to recently was Sean Oliver and his book about Kayfabe Commentaries. My bro-son, an incredibly awesome young man who means the world to me even if I don’t tell him often enough, was playing it every time we had to ride somewhere. Very cool.

Do you still read books with pages?

I do. It’s my favorite way to read a story.

What do you say when things go wrong?

Fuck! Shit! Boogers! Barbra Streisand! And then I really start to cuss.

What is one vegetable that should be eradicated?

Black Lives Matter. No, they’re not really veggies but just brain-dead idiots! All Lives Matter. I guess I’ll go with Coconuts. Unless you’re chillin’ with Jimmy Snuka, there is no use for them.

What is your favorite kind of tomato?

One ground up and processed into ketchup.

What is your favorite herb?

Herb Tarlek, the sales manager of WKRP in Cincinnati.

What is your favorite spice?

What were my choices? Posh, Shorty, Mel B., Ginger, and Benji? I hated that group. They always wanted us to tell them what we want? None of your damn business, wenches. I’ll go with their lesser-known, American cousin, Pee Wee Spice. He had a playhouse and everything.

Do you know people who intentionally do things that they know irritate you?

Yes. They talk to me, try to make conversation, ask questions, and generally just annoy the piss out of me. I call them, “customers”.

Are you Male or Female?

As opposed to the other 450 genders out there. Well, if you have a penis, you’re a male. If you have a vagina, you’re a female. (looks) All male here.

What is the best part of waking up?

Going back to bed for twenty more minutes (at least).

Do you know how to use chopsticks?

Is this a racist question? I use the chopsticks to play drums on the edge of the table while waiting for my food. And then I use a fork.

Have you ever been on a sailboat?

I honestly don’t think I have. Canoe, rowboat, motorboat, and houseboat, yes. But an actual sailboat? Not to my recollection.

Do you infer feelings to inanimate objects such as your car or truck?

Of course. Cars and the computer have feelings too and if you treat them badly, they’ll know and you’ll end up paying in the end.

Do you have any tells of when you get tired?

My eyes start burning, I get irritable (more than usual), my already sore feet start throbbing and I’m wishing death on people that I actually kind of like. That’s when it’s time for a nap.

What is the worst kind of music?

As the West Texas Rednecks said back in the mid-90s in WCW, “Rap is Crap”… and they were (are) right.

What is the grossest type of pizza topping?

Sardines. Why would anyone want salty little dead fish on anything? Why?

And there you go. I think it’s time to call it a night and go to bed. Getting a year older tomorrow so I know that faking happiness and laughing at all of the comedians will end up taking a lot out of me. And it’s a holiday weekend at work too. Oh vey! Anyhow, thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, or any questions about anything, drop me a line here in the comment section, at my e-mail of Doug28352@yahoo.com, or on Twitter at @Doug28352. Stay safe and have a great Independence Day. I’ll see you on the glip side.

Ubuntu!

@0000

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