Tossing Salt Presents:
12 (Dougie) Days Of Christmas (Day 11)
Man Buns, Moves Like Jagger & Rudolph
December 21, 2020
And we begin anew. Before I get started, I would like to ask everyone to say a prayer for a friend of mine who is having some major medical issues right now. No details to protect his privacy, but I’ve known this guy for over thirty years and he’s a good guy. It would mean a lot to me. Thanks.
And now, let’s move on and do the next-to-last edition of the 12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas. I don’t really feel like chit-chatting too much right now. I did just finish watching WWE TLC and it was a good show… until the end. And the ending. That’s why the audience is shrinking and people are giving up on WWE. And that’s all I have to say about that. Where is the Magic Bag at?
And the topics for today are Man-Buns, Moves like Jagger, and Mixed Drinks. Okay, I think we can do this although I may use my creative control to change one of the topics. I’m going blank on the mixed-drinks topic which is sad because I work in a damn liquor store. But the problem is, I like my shots straight. My men too, but that’s a story for another day. I’m pulling my Hogan card for the first time in years and changing that topic. Back to the Magic Bag, we go for another subject. And we have Rudolph. Okay, that’s better. Let’s do this.
I’m of differing opinions on man buns. If we’re talking about on the head, I think they’re kind of stupid. If they’re in the jeans, I love me some round and firm cheeks. I’m not quite sure why the on the head version of the man buns annoy me, but they just do. I guess it’s because most guys who wear them shouldn’t. Some guys can pull them off and they look hot and sexy. But for most guys, it makes them look more effeminate and less manly. And I like the manly, more blue-collar looking guys. If I wanted to be with a man who looks like a woman, I’d date women. But I don’t, on either count. I guess they do make good handlebars to steer the head in the direction you want it to move. I might have to think more on this topic. As for the other version of man-buns, they look good, feel good, taste good (usually), and if they fill out those jeans right, Dougie can be a happy camper. Damn, this is making me sound like a total perv, isn’t it? I mean, I am, but I shouldn’t make it so obvious. Let’s move on.
Moves Like Jagger…
This is when you’re skinny, British, cocky, rich, and move around on a stage like you’re having a seizure, but call it dancing. Also, Angie Bowie says you look like a goat. I’m kidding. Mick Jagger is a music legend and one of the best frontmen/entertainers of all time. And he’s not a bad actor either. What can I say about Mick Jagger that hasn’t been said yet? Nothing except that the man has some moves. That’s why this song was made about having “moves like Jagger”. I’ll insert the video here. Enjoy. Now we’re moving on.
We all know the song about the poor little reindeer who was a victim of child abuse by his father who, after realizing that Rudolph had a birth defect, tried to hide him from the other reindeer. Remember the cartoon and the fake nose to hide the GLOW? And he was bullied and abused by his peers. They wouldn’t even let him play the reindeer games. Until that night that they needed him. And then it was like, “You is our boy, Rudy”, and “we were just kidding dude!”. Santa and the other Reindeer were hypocrites and bullies and absolute pieces of crap until they needed Rudolph and that big red nose to get through the fog and deliver the presents. Luckily for Santa, Rudolph was a forgiving sort and decided not to hold a grudge and let bygones be bygones. I would have told them to take that sleigh and cram it straight up their booty-holes. Nah, I’m kidding. I’d have helped out too, just like Rudolph did, but not for any of them. Only for the children. Rudolph was a good dude. His family, friends, and Santa were all jerks though.
And there you go. My thanks for reading and for helping me make this site a success. Readership is up quite a bit as of late and I’m a happy Dougie. Share, subscribe, comment, and again, thank you for your support. Tomorrow is Day 12. That should be fun. Take care of yourself and have a very Merry Christmas. I’ll catch you later.