Flashback: Thirty Days of Dougie (2013) – Day 15: Truth, Marriage & The Great Marriage Debate…

Tossing Salt Presents:
Flashback: Thirty Days of Dougie (2013)
Day 15: Truth. Music & The Great Marriage Debate
January 16, 2021

It’s another flashback to eight years ago, to a time before I had the site and did my blogs on my Facebook Notes page. Enjoy. Comments and thoughts are welcome. And now, into the time machine. Let’s do this.

Thirty Days of Dougie – Part 15: Truth, Music and The Great Marriage Debate

It’s the halfway point for the “Thirty Days of Dougie”. It’s Day 15. Let’s jump right to it and reach into the “Magic Box” and see what the topics of the day will be. Yes, I said “topics” as in plural meaning more than one. I had so much fun doing the “Triple Threat” piece yesterday that I’m doing it again. Three topics of conversation to get you thinking (and hopefully get your blood pumping a little bit) this morning. Doesn’t that sound like fun? I think so, so let’s do this…

We reach into the box and here are the topics for today’s edition of “Thirty Days”… We have “truth”, “same-sex marriage versus traditional marriage”, and “music”. All three can make a great monologue and column by themselves, but when we put them together? Oy vey! This should be fun. Let’s get to stepping…

 Thirty Days of Dougie – Day 15: Truth, Music and The Great Marriage Debate

January 16, 2013

 So where shall we start? How about the music? I love music, as I believe we all do. And I like different types of music. Some folks that I know only listen to one particular genre, such as R&B or rap or country and you know what? They’re depriving themselves of some pretty awesome stuff that out there. My own tastes tend to be as eclectic as I am, depending upon my mood. I listen to country, rock, classic rock, classical music, pop, rap, disco, stuff from the 30’s and 40’s, big band, jazz, blues, reggae, etc. If it’s got a decent sound and (more importantly for me) great lyrics, I’ll give it a shot. I try to keep an open mind where the music is concerned.

 It wasn’t always like this though. There was a time that I refused to listen to rap. I didn’t mind the old skool rap like Doug E. Fresh (my namesake and hero), Run DMC, or the Beastie Boys. That was okay and fun to listen to. And I like Eminem too, but he’s a white boy so it was okay. But I didn’t like the hardcore rap, the urban “ghetto” music about how big and bad everyone is and about slapping the ho’s around and all that crapola. I looked at the image rather than listened to the music and let it cloud my judgment. 

 And then I started hanging out with people who were younger than I am and they didn’t listen to Alice or Bon Jovi or Waylon or the Stones. They listened to Tupac and Dr. Dre and Snoopy Dogg Dogg (wrong way to say it – I know, but that’s how I say it – get over it!). And being around these people so often, I found myself listening to the same music they listened to. And while some of it sucked pretty badly in my opinion and just confirmed what I had always felt about rap music, some of it was actually pretty decent. And some of it, hard as it is to believe, is actually pretty damn amazing. Tupac really was (is, since he’s not really dead) that damn good. Dre is really that damn good. 50 Cents is pretty damn good. And P. Diddy (or whatever his name is this week), well… they can’t all be winners. And Kayne West makes some good music too, but I still think he’s the biggest dick in the world for what he did to Taylor Swift a few years ago that I refuse to listen to him. Yes, I hold a grudge and have not gotten over it. Hey Kayne…. kiss my assets, you two-bit racist, ignorant, pinheaded jackass. 

But what was I saying? Oh yeah, music is music is music and good music can be found everywhere and anywhere if you just look hard enough. Don’t prejudge or base your opinions on what everyone says or what your perception of the music might be. Listen first and just be honest and real and judge for yourself and you’re liable to be surprised at the great stuff you just might find.

And enough on that subject for now. Let me move on, but before I do, just let me add one more thing. Music is full of awesome and talented folks, but in my opinion, there are six acts that stand heads and tails (for me) above everyone else. My “Big Six” are and will always be Waylon Jennings, Alice Cooper, Rickie Lee Jones, Soce the Elemental Wizard, and Sublime. My second “Big Six” changes from day to day because there are so many great songs and singers/bands to choose from. Maybe I’ll do a “Top 20” blog one day? Hmmmm? That’s an idea. But that’s for later. It’s time to move on to the next topic.

Truth: Whether good or bad, it’s always best to be honest and keep it real. We don’t always do that though. We don’t want to hurt feelings or admit stuff to ourselves or others so we fudge the truth a bit and either tell the little white lies or keep quiet and let things proceed as they may. Not a good thing, but that’s just how things go. I wish that everyone could be totally honest with each other, but that’s just not how things go. People are fickle and way too sensitive and far too many of them (us) can’t handle the truth. We live in denial and a delusional state of half-truths and wishful thinking. I know I’m guilty of that sometimes and so are so many others that I know. But eventually, reality catches up with us all, and then, oy vey! It’s a double-edged sword waiting to slice into the flesh and force us into reality and the real world. 

I don’t like the truth. I like living in my fantasy world where things will get better, where I will what I want to be, where people are honest and real and like me for me rather than what I can provide and do for them, where my man and I will live happily ever after. Maybe it will all work out in the end? Yeah, I’m a bit delusional sometimes, but it’s a lot better than dealing with the craziness and pettiness and cruel real world. And that’s the freakin’ truth! 

Let’s move on to the “Great Marriage Debate”, which pits “Same-Sex Marriage” versus “Traditional Marriage”. I think it’s pretty common knowledge where I stand on this issue. With all due respect to my friends who argue that marriage can only be between a man and a woman, I must disagree. Marriage is a bonding of both legality and love between two persons who love each other, want to commit to each other, and be recognized as partners in life. And is my love of another man any less than your love of your spouse? Nope, I don’t think so. My love and my relationship are just as real and important as yours and if you can get married, then why shouldn’t I be allowed the same privilege and rights that come along with the deal?

I would love to be able to get married (legally) one day. And just like everyone else, I want my friends and family to be there and to do the whole church ceremony and have the whole big scene. But legally, here in NC, I can’t do that because of my type of marriage, to another man, offends some people and apparently “damages” the institution of marriage. I’ve got news for everyone. Most marriages these days end up in divorce and most people who are married seem to be on their 2nd or 3rd try. The institution is already damaged and anything I do, along with the man I love, won’t hurt it any more than the “straight couples” already have. 

Marriage is about love, commitment, bonding together, and building a life and family. If the couple is real and committed and the love is there, what does it matter who is getting married, be it a man and woman or two persons of the same sex? It shouldn’t matter at all. If it’s real and it lasts, it strengthens the concept of marriage and commitment and should be encouraged… not denied or rejected.

The country is changing and the attitude of the people is changing and evolving. I expect that probably within the next couple of years, all of these “same-sex amendments” and “legalized discrimination laws” that prohibit gays from marrying will be history. I hope so. And when that day comes, I want to throw one helluva party. And I want to get married. After all, I deserve the same happiness (or misery depending upon who you ask) as everyone else. So I’m just waiting. Same-sex marriage is just as real and legal and valid as any other marriage. I know that and now I’m just waiting for the rest of the country to realize that and catch up.

 Okay, I just noticed the clock. I have to go do Food Lion so I’m out of here, my Peeps. Have a great day. Thanks for reading and I’ll be back tomorrow. 



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