Hospital Chronicles: Part IV – Clarification, Walking Dead & More…

Tossing Salt Presents:
Hospital Chronicles: Part 4
Clarification, Walking Dead & More
April 11, 2021

Still alive and still going strong. I recently spent a week in the hospital and I’m still playing catch-u and trying to get back into the swing of things. While laid up and dealing with temperamental nurses and my own anxiety and depression, I had plenty of time to take notes. No computer access except my phone so when an idea would pop into my head or I’d see something on the limited television options that the hospital offered, I’d write it down to write about at a future date. And that time is now. It may be all over the place and get pretty random at times, but this is a great insight as to what really goes on inside the mind of a stressed-out Dougie. So here we are at Part 4. Are you ready to do this? Let’s go.

Before I get to that last few pages of my notes to self and random musings, I need to address something I said in the first two “Hospital Chronicles” pieces, during the intro, that one of my regular readers, one of the three, took notice of and decided to call me out on. What I said was, “It’s either do this or go sit in my room in the dark and wish that I was dead.” And I guess now, he has me on a suicide watch of sorts, wanting to know if I’m okay and wants reassurance that I’m just joking. Well, I’m not joking. Anxiety and severe depression have always been a big part of my life and who I am and every single day, I go through hell, most of my own making, and the past few months, with the problems with my feet and inability to walk, the death of my brother, the extra responsibilities that have been thrust upon me, my lack of certainty about my job, the constant pain, and many other things, death would be in many ways a relief and I would welcome her arms and embrace.

But that being said, I’m not going to off myself or do anything stupid. I have responsibilities and I have people that it would hurt, that care for me even when I don’t care for myself, and that is why I continue to fight, struggle, and live on. It’s just that simple. So while I make get a bit dark and morose at times, the daily struggles and fight will continue. If I didn’t have my rock, my support system, my infamous-outlaw family behind me, it might be a different story and situation, but I do and thus, I continue to keep on keeping on. ‘Nuff said.

Damn, if that was a somber moment for what is intended to be a light-hearted and fun blog, I don’t know what is. Let’s move on now and take another look at what was going through my mind while laid up in the hospital for a very long and torturous week. Let’s do this.

I saw on the news that lawyer Gloria Allread is getting involved in Governor Andrew Cuomo’s sexual harassment claims. Talk about a blood-sucking shark of a lawyer who only shows up when there is money to be made and a life to be destroyed. If she’s sticking her nose into this too, then Cuomo is DOA. No big loss, but still it’s good to see the sharks feeding upon their own and both of these people are major bad news.

Next up is a bunch of notes about how I want to go home, please carry me home, etc. And a note to myself to maybe dye my hair. That could be interesting, but I doubt that it will happen unless I get really bored.

And now, more notes to myself to look up a few things on the computer when I get home. Look up the Walking Dead and what caused the zombie outbreak. And then there are some notes about maybe writing some fan-fiction crossovers with the Walking Dead crew and Dr. Druid, of Marvel Comics. And a crossover with the Walking Dead and the Mighty Isis. Just ideas that may happen one day if I can ever focus myself on writing fan fiction stories again. By the way, when I was in the hospital, I watched several editions of “Fear The Walking Dead”, featuring a character called Dylan. It wasn’t bad at all.

I also watched a lot of the show “Storage Wars”. It would be so cool to own a junk/consignment shop and do stuff like the Storage Wars folks do. Hell, I have a full store of starting inventory on-hand here at the house and would just need a building to work out of and someone to help me run it. Maybe one day.

And now I come across a note that is telling me something that I don’t want to think about but need to just go ahead and do and that’s put the Blazer up for sale. It’s been a good ride for a long, long time and has a lot of memories, but I can’t drive it, and keeping tags, insurance, etc, on it, it’s really not worth it anymore. And Steve’s car. That needs to be sold too.

Here’s a note to myself about checking into locking up my website and domain name, the logo, for at least the next 3-5 years so if anything does happen to me, my legacy will continue at least for a little while. Right now, I’m on a yearly plan and that’s cool, but if anything was to happen to me, come the following June, everything I’ve done and written and posted would fade into oblivion and be gone forever. If I go ahead and pay ahead and lock everything up for a couple of extra years, I could be comfortable in knowing that all of my work would be secure for a little extra time. I think I should do it. Keep the brand alive, right?

And finally, there was supposed to be some kind of meeting between Kamala Harris and Bill Clinton about ways to empower women. So we have a woman who got her political career started by being the mistress of a much older married man and exchanging sexual favors for appointments and a serial rapist talking about how to make things better for women. Yeah, I bet that conversation was quite the eye-opener.

And guess what? That’s the end of my pages of notes from this most recent hospital visit. I did leave off a few things, but I’ve covered the biggest and best of my scribbles. My thanks for reading and my thanks for reliving my days of angst with me. And now, I’m out of here. Until the next time, take care of yourself and stay safe. I’ll see you on the flip side.


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