Tossing Salt Presents:
Ten Days of Dougie (Day 8)
Crazy People, Senior Games & Radio Stations
July 11, 2021
DougMaynard.com

It’s a lovely Sunday afternoon here in the Carolinas, and I feel like absolute shit. I want to go to bed and sleep. Well, either do that or punch somebody in the face. But I’ve already wasted too much time this weekend laying in my bed and being depressed, and if I do punch someone in the face, they’d probably get upset and try to punch me back, and then I’d have to rap them with my cane and go all Blassie on their ass. No one wants to see that. So what is a depressed emo-homo supposed to do? I’ll write a new Ten Days of Dougie blog for Day 8. Does that sound like a plan or what? So let’s go get the infamous Magic Bag, pull out a few topics (that’s what she said), and get busy.

For today, the topics will be Crazy People, Senior Games & Radio Stations. That’s not a bad variety to work with and this may turn out to be a good edition of the blog. Or maybe not, but you’ll just have to continue reading and see for yourself. Are you ready to do this? Let’s do this. And away we go. Sho’ Nuff!

Crazy People…

This world has gone crazy and is full of crazy-ass people. If you don’t believe me, just watch any edition of the news or read a newspaper. Go spend a few minutes on Twitter or TikTok and look at the actions and comments of the world around us. Derangement doesn’t even begin to cover it. I think the best way to describe it is with the title of a song by Billy Currington. The song says, “God is great. Beer is good. And people are crazy!”. and damn if the man isn’t 100% correct. But you know what? It’s all good because imagine how boring things would be if we didn’t have a little crazy going on around us every so often? Yeah, I have to admit that a few people have taken it to the extreme and are more than just a little bat-shit stupid, but at least they’re not boring. And hell, I’m crazy too. I admit it. I’ve always been crazy, but it keeps me from going insane. If it worked for Waylon, it works for me. I just got a text message and I have to leave for a bit. I’ll be back in a little while and then we’ll be moving on. Damn, isn’t this crazy?

Senior Games…

What are Senior Games? Games for old people? I know that there used to be something called the Senior Olympics or something like that a few years ago that two of my neighbors regularly participated in and won several medals. I guess it’s like the Special Olympics, but for older people instead of handicapped ones. I guess the old people need something else to do besides drive slowly, walk around Wal-Mart, and peek out their windows at the neighbors. I’m kidding. Old people are actually cool and hell, I’m not too far from being one myself in just a few years. I actually look forward to the days I can sit around in stores and restaurants and tell lies to my friends, get discounts on my coffee and KFC, drive slowly down Main Street and sightsee while my blinker is on for at least three miles, and pretend that rules don’t apply to me when I go into a business because “the customer is always right!”. I can also harass the paperboys and tell the kids to get off my lawn. And what does any of this have to do with Senior Games? Hell, the only senior game I know is checkers and I had to write something… and I did. Let’s wrap this up with the final topic.

Radio Stations…

One of my long-time dreams is to one day own a radio station. Maybe it comes from watching one too many episodes of WKRP in Cincinnatti, but if I ever win a big-money lottery, owning a small radio station, not to make money, but to be creative and on the air, is one of the things I would be doing. And I already have people in mind to run it and work the on-air spots. My buddy Brent, the man behind the SMF Cyberspace podcast and truly one of the most creative people I’ve ever met would be the program director. My friend Tian would be perfect to have a call-in show and just talk to people. The two Infamous Outlaws, K-Mak and A-Mak, would both have jobs working on the air and behind the scenes. And my current boss-man, he’d be on the air as well doing his thing. The man is such a natural entertainer, he’s definitely a must-have. We’d probably only be on the air for a few weeks before the FCC shut us down or local citizens were protesting at the door, but it would be a hell of an experience and if I ever get rich, it will happen. Believe that.

And I guess that’s all for today. I’ll be back tomorrow with Day 9. My thanks for reading. Comments, questions, and any thoughts about what I’ve written or anything at all, just feel free and drop me a line. Until the next time, stay safe and have a great day. I’ll see you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!