Tossing Salt Presents:
5 Questions:
Teaching, Cartoons & More
September 18, 2021
DougMaynard.com

Joey W. sent me some questions to answer. I’ll take on five of them right now. Let’s do this.

If a private school hired you as a teacher, what subject would you teach?

It’s a hard call since the thought of me helping youngsters develop their minds is a scary thing, but what the hell. I guess, given my background, I could do bookkeeping and accounting, and basic math skills. I’m good at that stuff. Maybe creative writing so I can go look back up my former teacher in High School, who flunked me in creative writing because she didn’t like me and was a total and absolute biatch, and say, “Hold my beer, bitch!” and show her how it should be done. And what the hell. How about sex education. I know about the subject and have a strong interest in it. That could be fun and very interesting.

Favorite drinking game?

Thinking back to the day when I did drink regularly and quite heavily, Quarters was our main game of choice and I could bounce a quarter better than anyone. Now, not so much, but I’d be willing to give it a try again. Now, it would be the game of Survival. I am what I am because I ain’t what I used to be and haven’t drunk on a regular basis in so long, I’d just be hanging on with each drink, trying to keep up and survive. I need to get back into training and get my tolerance and skills back up to par.

Best United President of your lifetime? Worst?

I was born in 1966 so my choices would be Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, George H.W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, Barack Obama, Donald Trump, and Joe Biden. For best, it’s a tough call, but I’ll go with President Reagan. He made people proud to be American again and restored our nation to a place of strength and respect after the disastrous term of Jimmy Carter pretty much wrecked our economy and reputation. As for worst, it used to be Carter, but looking at the Pedo currently in the White House, he seems determined to destroy everything that is great about the United States. The worst President of all time, and we’re only 8 months into his term, Joe Biden.

If you could bring any cartoon character to life, who would it be?

It sure as hell wouldn’t be Mickey Mouse. He’s kind of an asshole. Actually, Bugs Bunny is a bully and asshole as well so that leaves him out. Let’s go with Marvin Martian. I have a thing for short, green guys and it would be fun to see him get “very angry”.

Best way to eat eggs?

With your mouth. Trying to eat them any other way would be very messy and probably not all that efficient.I don’t care what South Park says. The mouth is the proper way to eat things, not by sticking the items in any other opening in the body.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Until the next time, take care of yourself and stay safe. I’ll see you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!