Questions By Casper: Caves, Meals, Math & More…

Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper
Caves, Meals, Math & More
September 19, 2021
DougMaynard.com

At a place called Twitter, there is a man who shares his name with a friendly ghost. Casper likes to ask questions of all sorts, shapes, and sizes. At this site, there is a man, the proprietor, and owner of the site, that’s me, who likes to answer questions of all shapes, sorts, and sizes. Nothing is off-limits. And when the two of us get together, well here you go. It’s Questions By Casper and it starts right now.

What is your favorite sport?

An easy one to start as everyone knows, professional wrestling is my favorite form of athletic competition. Yes, the matches may have predetermined outcomes, but can you find any better all-around athletes and improvisational performers anywhere else? So what if the matches are fixed. They are in most other so-called professional sports as well, but it’s just not as talked about. Wrestling is real in every way that matters. It’s life that’s fake.

Do you own any jerseys?

Isn’t a jersey a cow? No, I do not own any cows.

Are you a fan of fans?

Hell yes, I love them. They keep me cool and keep my bedroom cold and nothing makes a person sleep better than the relaxing sound of the fan blowing cool air in the corner of the room. And the people in the stands at sporting events and at ringside at the wrestling matches? I like them too.

What’s the biggest problem in America today??

Entitlement. Everyone seems to think that they’re special and the world owes them everything. I’ve got news for all the little buttercups. The world doesn’t owe you shit! If you want something in life, you work hard and earn it, or otherwise, you do without. It’s just that simple. And the other thing that these entitled little snowflakes need to realize is that actions have consequences and if you’re a criminal or an idiot, you deserve to be punished and have your ass whooped. Nothing’s free and everything has a cost. Accept that and quit with the crying of “poor me – my feelings are hurt!”.

Do you know someone who always states the obvious?

I do, but they mean well, right? Right?

What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?

If I actually remember to eat breakfast, my favorite thing would probably be a plate with scrambled eggs, bacon, hash, and toast.

What would your job be on a starship?

I’d be the captain’s advisor and confident. Yeah, I wish. I’d probably be given a red shirt and sent down to investigate every new planet we come upon and initiate contact with the aliens. Yeah, I’d be croaked pretty quickly.

Do you have a good set of 2-way radios?

No. Why? Do you think I should?

What is your favorite meal?

The next one. This fat boy likes to eat.

Have you ever went exploring in a cave?

Actually yes, I have. When I was a child and lived in Raleigh, I remember a patch of woods near the house that had some small caves. Actually, they were probably animal homes that something had dug out and created, and being a kid, I would just go right in and be nosy. I’m lucky I never came across a wild animal or snake while climbing around. They were rock formations and looked natural so I’m sure that Mother Nature and some animals had made these openings for some reason, but I didn’t care why or how. I just wanted to look inside.

Have you ever had a deep-fried sandwich?

I’ve had meats that were deep-fried slapped on some bread, with Miracle Whip of course, and ate those. Is that what you’re talking about? So it would be a “yes”.

What do you think of when you hear “beef”?

I picture that little old woman from Wendy’s commercials many years ago chilling with the other little old women and going up to a drive-thru window and screaming, “Where’s the beef?”.

Pancakes, French toast, or waffles?

All sound good, but right now, some pancakes would hit the spot.

Remember when teachers told us we won’t be carrying a calculator with us everywhere we go, and that’s why we needed to know how to do math without one?

I remember, but guess what? They were wrong.

Are you any good at doing complex math in your head?

I actually am pretty good with math. I work every day with money and numbers and in my warped little mind, I just picture numbers as amounts, and the adding and subtracting comes easily.

How long would you survive in a Post-apocalyptic world?

I’d do okay for a little bit, longer than most people would expect. I sure as hell wouldn’t get eaten by any zombies. My bro has taught me better than that. It’d be hard, but I’d fight and survive as long as I can.

When was the last time you had a phone-free day?

There is no such a thing anymore. Phones are a necessary evil…and I hate the damn things, but we gotta have them.

What was the last thing you borrowed out to someone that you’re still waiting to get back?

I guess money doesn’t count since getting paid back doesn’t ever happen and I don’t even worry about it anymore. If I loan, it’s because I want to do it. So that leaves items, right? I can’t really think of anything off the top of my head. I’ll circle back on this one in a few days.

Do you say soda or pop?

I say drink, or DEW, or Pepsi, or whatever it actually is called. My cousins used to call it pop and I thought that sounded so weird. It has an actual name and that’s what I prefer to use.

What is your favorite pop/soda flavor?

Currently, it’s Mt. Dew Zero.

Do you like or hate storms?

I love them. Few things are more relaxing to me than the sound of heavy rain with wind, thunder, and lightning flashing in the sky. Let me clarify though that I only like them when I’m able to sit inside, relax, and just embrace the storm and its power. If I have to be out in the bad weather, that part, I don’t like so much.

What is your favorite candy?

Baby Snickers. Gotta love the mini-mes.

What is your favorite planet?

Uranus. It’s not my fault that I’m an ass-man. It was written in the stars.

What is your favorite day of the year?

Today because means I’m still alive, kicking, and ready to piss some people off, make a few others laugh, and the adventure continues.

And there you go. Go check out Casper on Twitter at @Ghostly_Host and give him a follow. Also, the man has an online store at TheGhost.xyz. Be sure to check that out as well.

And that’s all for today. Until the next time, stay safe and be good. Any comments, thoughts, or questions are welcome and appreciated. I’m down and gone. See you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!

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