Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper
Taking Things For Granted, Humor, Fetishes & More
October 1, 2021
DougMaynard.com

In the world that is Twitter, there is a man named Tyler Casper who likes to ask questions. He’s there at @ghostly_host and you should really check him out. Follow the madness. And as Casper likes to ask questions, I like to answer them. And that’s what I’m doing here. Let’s rock!

Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker?

Many times. I know how it feels to be walking on the side of the road and people just passing by and it’s not a good feeling. Besides, I’ve seen plenty of videos over on PornHub, and picking up complete strangers off the side of the road is supposed to lead to some interesting and sweaty stuff. Guess what? Those videos lie. Well, most of the time. But as I’ve gotten older and people have gotten crazier, I’ve become less likely to pick up a hitchhiker unless I recognize them and my gut instinct says they’re okay. If my tum-tum says yes, I might give them a lift, but it’s not as likely as it once was.

Would you consider yourself tech-savvy?

If I change a light bulb in the bedroom, the microwave will explode. I am not technically sound at all. I’m a writer, damn it, not an electrician.

How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

Three, maybe four. When my legs could reach the pedals, that was all it took and I was off riding.

Has the curve been flattened yet? Sick of the “circling back”…

Yes, I mean no, I mean who really knows for sure. The “science” is making it up as they go and the politicians, all vipers, snakes, and sum-bitches, are giving the orders. So long as it allows those bastards control over our lives and persons, the “curve” will never flatten.

Have you ever stopped for someone who was having vehicle issues?

Read my earlier response about hitchhikers. The same applies here and the answer is a definite yes.

What is the most selfless thing you’ve ever done?

I don’t know. I don’t take notes. I try to do what’s right when I can. And that’s all that matters here.

How much coffee is a lot of coffee?

Any coffee is a lot of coffee and it’s some nasty shit. Smells great, but tastes awful. I don’t do coffee.

What is something you take for granted?

After this past year and the way things have yo-yo’ed so much, both good and bad, I have learned that nothing is certain, everything has a cost, and expect nothing for that is exactly what you’ll end up with.

What is something you’d never take for granted?

Life and health. I did for a long time and how is that working out for me these days? Not too good.

Do you try to find humor in any situation?

Absolutely, If you don’t laugh, you cry and what does that solve or help? When I die, I don’t want tears or crying, but instead bad jokes, sick twisted remarks, and lots of dark humor at my funeral. I want anyone who doesn’t know me to be appalled and in shock and those that do, be the twisted little psycho your dark heart is yearning for. If you can’t laugh at any situation, no matter how inappropriate, then I’m not your cup of tea. It’s true.

Do you care about what others say behind your back?

I have in the past, but now, not so much. Screw them if they can’t take a joke and if they’re going to talk about me, at least make it interesting.

Do you care about your looks?

Not as much as I should, but I do need a haircut and a shave pretty badly right. I can’t help it though that I’m a sexy beast. It’s not my fault!

What is your go-to happy food?

I don’t know. Probably Chinese food. Or maybe booty? Nah, I’ll go with the Chinese. But I would rather have the booty.

What is the strangest fetish you’ve ever heard of?

There are people who only date one person, don’t believe in sex before marriage, have only one partner in their lives, and are into monogamous relations, no exceptions. Weirdos! Well, that and people into stuffed animals. I actually know a guy who is into that and he’s a weird dude, even by my standards. What do they call them? Plushies? I don’t know for sure, but damn! That’s all I can say. DAMN!

Were you spanked when you were growing up?

Yeah, and I didn’t like it much then. Now though… I’m a very bad boy and need to be punished! Spank me, Daddy! Woo-hoo!

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions, please feel free to give me a shout. Until the next time, take care and I’ll see you at the liquor store. Love you, mean it!

Ubuntu!