A Day Of Dougie: Parking Lots, Pom Poms, Beards & Much More…

Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie: Rapid Fire Edition
Parking Lots, Pom Poms, Beards & More
October 3, 2021

Good morning and yes, it is very early in the morning. I can’t sleep as I have way too much on my mind with a major life-changing decision I need to make. To be honest, there is not really a decision to be made, but it’s nice to pretend that I have a say in all of this stuff when in reality, nothing can be farther from the truth. I’ll probably write about this entire situation at some point, probably sooner rather than later since writing helps me think, clear my mind, and look at things from all perspectives. I probably will, but it won’t be here and now. For this particular venture, it’s back to basics as I go to the Magic Bag, pull out a dozen or so topics, and write about them, no preparation or advance warning. Doesn’t that sound like fun? Of course, it does. So let’s get the bag, start pulling out topics, and do this. Are you ready? I said, ARE YOU READY? Let’s do this.

Parking Lots…

It’s where all the sneaky stuff takes place. Transactions, meetings, cats looking for food, crack-heads, and of course parking, all happen. And why can’t anyone park between those two yellow lines? Bunch of non-driving bitches.


I love a foreign accent. A person with an English accent can cuss you out, but it still sounds hot and sexy. Sometimes it makes for the back and forth conversation to be a little difficult, but a heavy Spanish or English accent is all it takes and if the guy is cute, I’m his forever. Well for at least fifteen minutes or so.

Friends & Lovers…

Some people are friends. Some people are lovers. Some are both. Those are the best ones.

Pom Poms…

Cheerleaders use them to go rah, rah, rah! I guess it’s better than using live squirrels, pineapples, or baby-doll heads. Go team, go!

The Bicycle Shop…

I can’t for the life of me remember what made me put this particular subject in the bag or even when I did it. I’m sure that it had something to do with bicycles and a shop. Oh yeah, I think I remember now why it’s here. Arnold on Different Strokes and the time he and his buddy dealt with the child molester, played by Gordon Jump, the same man who played Mr. Carlson on WKRP In Cincinnatti. This all revolved around a bicycle shop. Man, that was truly a memorable episode of Different Strokes, and anyone who molests a child needs to be sliced, diced, and fed to a hungry hill of giant ants. I hate a freakin’ Pedo.

Matilda Bay…

A great Malt Beverage that was around in the early ’90s and I enjoyed it very much. It came in the box with the spout and even though it tasted, in comparison, like Zima, it was good stuff. I went through a box every weekend. Sometimes two. Good times indeed.

Rico Suave…

A great song and one-hit-wonder from the glory days of MTV and Gerardo. Enjoy!

Straight Face Mafia…

I don’t know what this one is supposed to be, but I think I saw it on a shirt or jacket. I’m sure that they’re big and bad and can tie their own shoes though and ain’t at all a bunch of posers or wannabes. And I even kept a straight face while writing that so maybe I’m actually one of them? Nah, maybe not. I have some pride and self-respect and my loyalty is to the Montclair Mafia. Always has been and always will be. ‘Nuff said!


The liquid that bad memories, blackouts, and moments of denial are made from. This is the alcohol used to make PJ and after the fruit and juices are added, you don’t realize how much you’re drinking. And then, the fun begins. Oy vey!


Hurt is pain, sadness, loneliness, and all other bad things. Dougie don’t like hurt.


It’s something I can’t grow, not a real one anyhow. I can grow facial hair and it can come in pretty thick on some parts of my face, but a real, Duck Dynasty style beard, it’s just not possible. But then again, unless your Amish, why would you want one of those anyhow? I think they look kind of stupid.

And I’m going to quit here. I’m getting tired and I want to go spend some quality time with my damn cat. So thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions about anything here or anything at all for that matter feel free and do so. Until the next time, take care of yourself and stay good. Be safe and be sure to make every day a Day of Dougie. I’ll see you on the other side.


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