Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper
Authors, Alcohol, Salads & More
October 28, 2021
DougMaynard.com

I was once taking a stroll through the land of Twitter and I came across a man who seems to ask a lot of questions. And he also shares the name of a friendly ghost. Well, if Casper, located at @ghostly_host, wants to ask questions, I feel I must answer them. And here is where I do it. No, here is where WE do it. And so we shall. Let’s do this.

What was the last fundraiser you were involved with?

For me personally, I think it was working and having a job in order to get a check to pay my bills. That would count, right? I did buy a box of donuts from a woman who came around at the store one night a month or so ago. She had those Krispy Kreme donuts and was raising money for something and damn, they looked good. They tasted good too. A little over-priced at $8 a box, but I’ve seen what they cost in the grocery store so no complaints here. I wish I had a donut right now. Someone should bring me one. That would be awesome.

Did Donald Trump’s tweets offend you?

I thought they were more humorous than anything else. Trump’s tweets were straightforward, a little petty, but real talk from a real person and not this manufactured crap we get from the current President. I doubt that Biden even knows how to operate a smartphone, much less tweet on one. And it’s not real-talk, but a long and scripted message with as much personality as one of Maxine’s extra-long eyelashes. I miss Trump’s “mean tweets”.

What is your favorite movie dealing with aliens?

I’ve answered this one before, but the answer is the same. Earth Girls Are Easy starring Geena Davis, Keenan Wayans, Jim Carey, and former MTV personality Miss Julie Brown (Just Say Julie). Great, fun movie with lots of camp and silliness, a great representation of what the ’80s were all about. Check it out if you want to waste about 90 minutes and just laugh at stupid. It’s good.

Do you have an author you can’t stand?

Stephen King, but it’s not for his writing or stories. He’s a great writer who has written some incredible stories and has a fantastic mind for the surreal and fantasy. It’s just that he caught some T.D.S. a few years ago, started getting political, and exposed himself as a deranged piece of shit in the process. Bette Midler has done the same thing. Great music and good movies, but she’s a total piece of shit as a person. I used to consider myself a fan of both. Now, I could care less about either.

Do you have a backup communication device?

Yeah, it’s called opening up the back door and yelling loud. Works every time.

Do you have a favorite author?

Joan Rivers, who wrote several excellent books about her life, dealing with adversity, and being strong, was one of my favorites. The late, great Hugh Prather, who wrote the classic, “Notes To Myself”, was an amazing and insightful author, and as for more current, Anne Rice, the author of “Interview With A Vampire”, and many other great stories. I don’t like her politics, but she’s at least open-minded and respectful and doesn’t let personal beliefs overshadow her talent and work. That makes a big difference.

Never have I ever?

Been as unsure and scared of what lies ahead as I am right now. Nor have I ever eaten a live grasshopper, at least that I’m aware of.

Do you turn into a different person when you drink?

No, I’m the same person, but just slightly less reserved, slightly more talkative, and far more sociable. Also a bit of a perv.

Have you ever hot-wired a vehicle?

No, but I did help burn up a truck one time. Does that count?

What is your favorite type of fruit?

Paul Lynde. And maybe a grape. Grapes are good.

What is your favorite type of salad?

So many things I could say here, but this is a PG Q&A, sort of, and I haven’t tossed a good salad in months. So I’ll go with the classic Chef’s Salad, loaded up with Thousand Island for my answer instead.

Do you drink whisky straight or mixed?

It depends on my mood, but generally straight, chased by a cold Bud Light.

Whiskey or gin?

Gin makes you grin and then sin, but give me some good old-fashioned Whiskey anytime.

Whiskey or vodka?

Cheap vodka has some great advantages, but I prefer whiskey most of the time.

Whiskey or beer?

The irony here considering that I work in a liquor store, but I’m definitely much more of a beer guy than anything else.

Whiskey or wine?

Have you ever been on a safari?

Walking in the woods, yes. A full safari with guides, wild animals, the hot sun beating down on you, and a chance of catching Malaria, I can’t say that I have.

Who wears the pants in your relationship?

Most of my relationships have been with other guys so both of us would wear the pants, even though to be honest, it’s much more fun when neither of us is wearing pants.

Are you the better half?

The better half of what? It depends on the time and situation.

Are you getting together with family for Thanksgiving?

I seriously doubt it.

What is your favorite Thanksgiving food?

Turkey, followed by some good old-fashioned baked beans.

What is the most important thing in a relationship?

Trust. If you don’t have that, you don’t have a real relationship and nothing else matters.

Do you wear your feelings on your sleeve?

Nope. I over-analyze and examine them, hold them in, and then write it all out in a blog or Q&A here at the site. I tend to be kind of on the repressed side.

What is something that doesn’t belong in a salad?

Watermelon.

Are you a smartass or a dumbass?

I think it depends upon who you’re asking, but I would hope more of the first than the latter.

And there you go. My thanks to Casper for the great questions and to you, my loyal readers, all three of you, for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Until the next time, take care of yourself and stay safe. I’ll see you on the flip side.

Ubuntu!