Tossing Salt Presents:
5 Questions
Dating, Lemons & More
November 25, 2021
DougMaynard.com

In a world full of questions, sometimes it’s nice to actually get a few answers. And that’s exactly what we’re doing here. Five questions from my Facebook and Twitter pages, being answered truthfully for your reading pleasure. So are you ready? Let’s do this.

What are your thoughts on dating someone sober?

Someone who once had a drinking problem, but now maintains a life of sobriety and doesn’t partake at all? I have no problem with that, but the irony, considering that I work in a liquor store, would be pretty strong. I like the occasional beer or shot of liquor, but it’s not a big deal to me one way or another if I partake or not. If a guy is a good person, smart, funny, with sexy eyes, and a nice booty for me to look at and play with, his drinking or not drinking makes no difference to me. Congrats to him for working hard and getting on track to making his life a better one. Now, get naked and give me a kiss.

Do you know what your state motto is?

I think it’s “Don’t hate us because our Governor is an idiot!”. Okay, maybe not. How about “All roads lead to Chapel Hill… if you’re lucky!”. Not that one either? The final guess is, “We rock, bitches!”. And if that’s not it, then I truly have no idea. Oh well!

If Life keeps giving you lemons, what is the best thing to do?

Get some salt, some good tequila, and that means absolutely none of that El Toro crap or Two Fingers. I’m talking the good stuff. And then slice the lemons and get shit-faced with about five or six of your favorite people.

Are you any good at bowling?

I’ve only been bowling on a couple of occasions and to be honest, I absolutely sucked! It was fun enough, but it just wasn’t my thing.

What do you say to a person who truly believes the economy is much better off now than it was under Trump?

“Here are some fresh crayons to color in your book. Do you need your bottle? Do you need your nappy changed?” Obviously, if someone believes that garbage, they’re either a very small child or have the brain capacity of a very small child because once someone begins to develop comprehension skills, even they can see that Biden is an incompetent goof, a bad joke of a leader, and creepy as hell.

And there you go. Short, but sweet, just like a guy I used to see regularly. He had some sweet moments but was lacking in some areas if you know what I mean. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. Until the next time, take care of yourself and stay safe. I’ll see you at the Blue Oyster. Let’s tango.

Ubuntu!