Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie:
Dancing With The Stars, The Word & Tinker Bell
January 10, 2022
DougMaynard.com

Good morning Infidels, and welcome to a brand spanking new Day of Dougie. Before I get started talking about whatever it is that I’m going to be talking about, I want to send a big Happy Birthday shoutout to my best friend, Jay to my Silent Bob, my hetero-life-mate, the one and only Infamous K-Mak. I love you much, my brother, and here’s to many, many more years of craziness, good memories, weird conversations, dark humor, and all sorts of stuff. A great man, a great father, and just a damn good friend. Happy Birthday, Bro. I love ya!

Now, what was I saying? Oh yeah, it’s time to do a Day of Dougie. Let’s get the Magic Bag, draw out some topics, and figure out just what’s on the agenda for today. We have Dancing With The Stars, The Word, and Tinkerbell. Okay, I think I can do these, so are you ready? I said, ARE YOU READY? I really need to either start doing audio or video if I’m going to keep using DX catch-phrases with these things. If I could get someone, over here to talk me through the steps, I probably would/will. I think I need to make a phone call. Anyhow, that’s for later. Now, it’s time to get busy and do this. So hang on and let’s do exactly that. Let’s do this.

Dancing With The Stars…

This is a so-called reality show/competition that has been on ABC since 2005 and it is exactly what it says it is, although their definition of “stars” is sometimes lacking. People of fame are partnered with professional dancers and they compete each week until only one couple remains. Who would have ever thought that a show about ballroom dancing would be such a big television hit for so long, but it has and continues to be popular with the TV viewing audience. Lawrence Welk would be so proud. And yes, I’ll admit it here. This show is one of my guilty pleasures. I watched when Cloris Leachman was there, all 81 years of her, Rob Kardashian, who had the best bubble-butt, when Chris Jericho did the cha-cha-cha, and most recently this past season when The Miz was featured. I also watched when that bitch who killed her husband, Carole Baskin, was featured, hoping to see her fall and bust her ass. Unfortunately, she didn’t do that, but she didn’t last very long either. I didn’t like it when they replaced host Tom Bergeron, who I was a fan of from the days of Hollywood Squares, with Tyra Banks. That was a sucky-ass move and I won’t watch it now except for clips on YouTube of my favorites. Anyhow, dancing is cool and this show, it’s not too bad either.

The Word…

When I’m asked what is the word, I immediately think of two things. The first is a commercial from the seventies of one of the God-awful nastiest wines in existence. “What’s the word? Thunderbird!” Okay, it’s not as bad as Wild Irish Rose or Mad Dog 20/20, but it sure as hell wasn’t good either. The commercial though was catchy and stayed in the mind. “What’s the word? Thunderbird!”. And then there’s the word we all know so well, courtesy of Family Guy. Here’s the clip.

Tinker Bell…

And finally, we have the best-known fairy of all time not named Richard Simmons. I’m kidding. Kids today don’t even know who Richard Simmons was and he was actually pretty cool. Absolutely insane, but still cool. The best-known fairy of all time? Twinkletoes McFingerbang. Oh yeah, you probably know him as Kenny Omega. He’s actually not that bad either, but I just listened to the Jim Cornette Drive-Thru podcast this morning and then went on Twitter and saw where Omega was trending for wrestling a 9-year old girl and now he’s on the brain. And he’s not really gay either. He’s bi, I think. But then again, who cares. He sucks as a wrestler. And I just re-read the stuff I’ve written. I’m definitely going to get kicked out of the club for this and have my homo status revoked. I need to do a Top Ten List one day. And now, what was I saying? Oh yeah, Tinker Bell.

Tinker Bell was the fairy sidekick of the original Boy Who Lived, Peter Pan. She flitted around and kept him and the Lost Boys, a bunch of runaways and not the vampires from the ’80s movie starring the Coreys with the great soundtrack, out of trouble. She didn’t really talk, but made a tingling sound like a small tinkle, hence the name Tinker Bell. And when she was almost dead from drinking poison, Peter Pan broke the fourth wall and had us all do something, I can’t remember if it was pray, clap, or dance the Waltz like we were on Dancing With The Stars, but we did and it brought her back to life. And after her gig with Peter Pan, she was later featured on the show, Wonderful World Of Disney, where she would flitter around and, using a wand, cause sparkles and take us from the opening of the show to the featured movie. She was a fairy of many talents, just like Kenny Omega.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions you may have are welcome and appreciated. And if there’s any topic you’d like to see me add to the Magic Bag for possible use in a future Days Of Dougie edition, send me that too. I want your input to help a brother out. Until the next time, stay safe and be good and be sure to make every day a Day of Dougie. You’ll be glad you did. Until the next time.

Ubuntu!