Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper
Racism, Pets, Work, and More
January 23, 2022
DougMaynard.com

I know a man who asks a lot of questions, and no, he’s not the Po Po. His name is Casper and he’s on Twitter at @ghostly_host. These are just a few of the questions he’s recently asked, with answers provided by me. So are you ready? Let’s do this.

What do you think keeps racism alive?

The media looking for a story, the politicians looking for control and power, and idiots who should know better, but don’t. Racism is a crazy thing anyhow since a person has no control over skin color. What matters is are you cool or are you a dumb-ass. If you think that skin color makes a difference, you’re an idiot and a racist, regardless of the color of your skin. Yes, it really is that simple. Use character as your base for judgment and it’s all good. Use the color of someone’s skin, you’re a freaking moron. Period!

What do you consider a racist comment?

Comments that demean someone else, based on the color of their skin, meant in a bad and derogatory way, that’s racist, regardless of who says them. And thinking and saying that the color of one’s skin gives a person certain rights over another, or special rights and considerations, that’s racist speech as well.

What would your dream job have you doing?

Writing about professional wrestling and the world at large and getting paid for it.

Why don’t they have nap time at work?

We do. Just ask one of my coworkers. Oops, my bad! But those chairs we sit in are comfy sometimes.

What is one animal you would never want for a house pet?

An elephant or a monkey. Elephants are too big and monkeys are nasty and like to throw poop.

What is the best animal to have as a pet?

A cat. I love my cats and they’re perfect… for me.

What is the opposite of your greatest fear?

Having plenty of people around, being surrounded by friends and family and people to love that love me as well.

What would you rename Earth?

I’d go with the Asgardian term, Midgard.

What constellation would you want to rename?

Let’s change the big dipper to The Scoop.

When was the last time you were black-out drunk?

It’s been quite a while, but I think that on a walk home from Brian’s house one night, after drinking much beer, some liquor, and taking some medication that I had been prescribed, I had a black-out moment. I remember walking on the trail through the woods and then coming to, somewhat tangled up in the weeds by a tree, laying on the ground. I don’t know how I got there, but there I was and I had hurt my arm somewhere in the process too. All of my other sloppy drunks, unfortunately, I remember. I may deny remembering some of my actions when totally blistered, but more often than not, I actually do. Even during the Four-Loco drunks. I just wish I didn’t. I’m due a good black-out drunk soon. I just don’t have anyone I can drink with and trust myself with to not be too stupid lol. sighs

What is something you’ve always wanted to bathe in?

A tub full of money. Cash please, all hundreds and bigger. That would be awesome. A tub full of jello could be fun too, just so long as Bill Cosby isn’t the one filling up the tub for me.

What are your feelings on jello?

If it’s good to me, I’ll be good to it. I like me some jello.

What is your favorite Twizzlers flavor?

Not a big Twizzler guy, but the red ones are okay.

And there you go. I’m through for now. Thanks for reading. Until the next time, take care and stay safe. I’ll see you in the Pumpkin Patch.

Ubuntu!