Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions By Casper
Love, Drinking, Taking A Stand & More
February 24, 2022
DougMaynard.com

I like to answer questions. A lovely gent on Twitter, who goes by the name of Casper, likes to answer them. Go see Casper on Twitter at @Da_Ghostly_Host. Follow him. You’ll be glad you did. And now, back to those questions. He asks them and I answer them, and here you go. Enjoy!

What is the most annoying thing to smell cooking?

For me, it’s either Collards or Sauerkraut. I don’t mind eating either of them, but the smell when they’re cooking takes over the whole house and makes my tum-tum do flip-flops. Nasty.

Do you believe in life after love?

Love is a myth and doesn’t really exist. And once that myth is exposed, we’re a little wiser, a little darker perhaps, and a little stronger. Life goes on.

If you could morph into any animal, what would it be?

What would my Animagus form be? I would like for it to be a dog, perhaps a German Shepard. Beautiful, smart, and just damn cool.

Does anyone else wait until it stops snowing to shovel?

I live in North Carolina so luckily for me, when we do get snow, as rare as it is, just wait twelve hours and it will be sunny and the snow will have melted away. No shoveling is needed.

Would you invite me into your home, let me set up a table, tell you to take your clothes off, and get on the table, then let me slather you in oil and rub you down?

If you’re a cute guy, you should. I can assure you that you will not regret it in the slightest. And yes, I’m taking appointments and booking. I need to practice, so call me. Try it, you’ll like it. So, what you say, bro?

I wait to pet the cat until it’s done cleaning itself… Is that mean?

No, it’s thoughtful and probably a lot safer than pissing off the cat while they’re busy grooming. Never piss off a cat. They hold grudges and never forget.

What is your favorite Dr. Seuss Story?

So far as the movies go, The Lorax movie is excellent. And so far as stories in general go, what was the one that pissed off so many liberals a few months ago? I like that one. Well, that one and Green Eggs And Ham. Always a true classic.

Remember when it didn’t physically make you sick to gas up your vehicle?

I used to fill my truck up for $22 and drive for two weeks. Now, it takes almost fifty dollars for the same amount of driving. FUJB. Let’s Go Brandon.

If it’s 7 years of bad luck for breaking a mirror, what is it for breaking a plate?

A mess on the floor that needs to be cleaned up immediately before the dog gets into it.

Have you ever been under friendly fire?

In the sense of bullets and war, nope, but in the sense of two people having personal issues and arguing and I’m stuck in the middle, getting it from both sides just because I’m there, many times. It sucks!

What is your favorite drinking game?

I remember back in the day, we would play a game called Chandeliers, where everyone had a cup of beer, with a cup in the middle as well. We’d take turns flipping a quarter into the cups. If the quarter went into your cup, you had to drink. If the quarter went into the middle cup, everyone had to drink. And if you made five shots in a row, you could make a rule that had to be followed until the end of the game. My favorite rule was when you had to say, “sayonara beal”, which means “Goodbye beer” in Japanese before each drink. You forget, then you drink again. We, being myself, Alex, Wakana, Carl, Carson, Theresa, Lad, Chris, Chad, Becky, and so many others played that game many a night. Good times.

Do you take anything in your coffee or tea?

I don’t drink coffee or tea.

What is something you won’t stand for?

Lying, stealing, or in general being an asshole to someone who doesn’t deserve it. As Hall & Oates would say, “I can’t go for that. No can do!”

What is something you’d take a stand for?

I’ve written letters to the newspapers in defense of gay marriage before it was legal in NC, as well as protesting against the Nazi-like antics of then-District Attorney Kristy Newton for her attacks against video-gambling establishments in our county. She forced the closing of over twenty businesses, putting a couple of hundred people out of work, and it was an absolute disgrace that made me ashamed to say I even lived in this county where a police state could hurt so many people who were not hurting anyone or breaking any laws, except in her sick little twisted mind. So what will I take a stand for? If I see something I feel is wrong and injustice and no one else will speak up, I’m here, locked and ready to rumble. Or as Al Bundy would say, “Let’s rock!”

Ever watch a movie so foreign that even the sounds are in a different language and need subtitles?

I remember a movie called “120 Days of Sodom”. It’s twisted, very disturbing, sickening, very hard to watch, and yet impossible to turn away from. It’s all in Italian and I had to use subtitles. The movie spoke for itself and the translations weren’t necessary. It was and is genius but in a very sad and deranged way.

Did you feel pressurized into having the vaccine?

I have been pressured from all sides, but I have thus refused and did not take the jab. My gut instincts said no, and as I listened to the demands, I started seeing more and more questionable statements and misinformation, this coming from the people who are supposed to be protecting us and keeping us safe. And then I spoke to my doctor and he was honest with me about possible side-effects, the complications that may affect my pre-existing conditions, and his own personal feelings, as a doctor of over thirty years of experience and practice. Then, my decision was made and I haven’t regretted it at all since. I spoke earlier about what I would take a stand for, and here you go.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions you may have feel free and give me a shout. Thanks again to Mr. Casper for all the great questions. Until the next time, take care and stay safe. I’ll see you down by the river. I’ll be in the van.

Ubuntu!