Tossing Salt Presents:
12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas
Day 9: Silver & Gold, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and House Elves
December 21, 2022
DougMaynard.com

Good morning and welcome to the show. It’s the Ultim… nope, not that one. It’s the 12 (Dougie) Days of Christmas, Day 9. I’ll bet you never thought I’d make it this far, did you? Well, so far, so good. I don’t have much time for small talk right now so let’s get right to business, shall we?

You know the routine. Magic bag, draw out random topics, and write. So now that we’ve established that, let’s get to getting on. The topics for today are Silver & Gold, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and House Elves. This one might be weird. Let’s do this.

Silver & Gold

What was the name of the prospector from the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer cartoon? You know the one who would constantly throw his pick-axe up into the air, let it land, and then taste the tip, muttering after determining if it tastes like silver or gold. He even did a song as part of the cartoon. Was it Cornelius? I can’t remember. But I do remember the character and that’s how I’m tying this into the Christmas theme of this blog series.

His name was Yukon Cornelius. Yes, I looked it up. He also “died” at the end when he and the Abominable Snow Monster fell off a cliff, only to return later at the end of the show, saying that they survived due to the Abominable’s bouncing ability. They then helped to decorate Santa’s Christmas tree. It’s a classic Christmas story and Yukon Cornelius was in it because he met Rudolph and Hermey the Elf while out looking for the two things he loved the most, silver and gold. And there you go. Don’t you love how it all works out in the end? Let’s move on.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

I remember the movie and have always heard that it was based on a true story. You know the deal, right? Stupid teenagers traveling and the car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. The only help turns out to be crazy psychopaths who want to slice, dice, and cook up the teenagers for their restaurant, one that sells Korean BBQ. Okay, I’m just making that part up, but based on the Day of Dougie edition I did yesterday, would it really surprise anyone?

But anyhow, kids are chased by a killer, a guy called Leatherface who carries around a big old chainsaw. He tries to kill them. They run and try to flee. We’re introduced to his family who is corpselike and stuck in a bunch of chairs. Lots of blood, guts, and chaos. And one of the bratty kids kills Leatherface in the end to be the sole survivor. Or were they? I can’t remember for sure. And did Leatherface truly die? There was a sequel so I doubt it. A good horror movie villain never truly dies. They just eat lots of Korean BBQ. And there you go.

House Elves

Watch the Harry Potter movies and you’ll see plenty of House Elves. Okay, mainly you’ll see Dobby and Kreacher, but there are plenty of others behind the scenes, doing all the cooking, cleaning, and other things that the human wizards are too lazy to do. A house elf is a magical creature that magically binds itself to a family and becomes, more or less, a slave. They need the magical bond to stay alive and the ass-clown Wizards fully take advantage and use them for all menial tasks.

All but Dobby of course. Dobby has no Master. Dobby is free elf! Well, he wasn’t a free elf and was bound to the Malfoy family until Harry Potter tricked Lucius Malfoy into giving Dobby a sock. The way the magic worked, was if a Master gave an elf clothing, they broke the magical bond and the elf was free. It’s a pretty cool trick and a reminder to always read the fine print.

I was going to say something else, but now my mind is going blank. I hate it when that happens. Oh yeah, I want a Magical House Elf. If anyone from the Wizarding World sees this and knows one that is looking for a family to bond with, let me know. I have plenty of cleaning and other deeds for him/her to do. They’d be very happy here and the cats would love them.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, or any questions you may have are welcome and appreciated. And with that, I’m out of here. I have to get ready for work. It’s Christmas week and it’s going to be hell. Absolute pure hell! I can’t wait! Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll be back tomorrow for Day 10. Merry Christmas.

Ubuntu!