Tossing Salt Presents:
A Day of Dougie:
Rapid Fire Edition
March 7, 2023
DougMaynard.com

I am freaking losing my mind. My body is physically shaking and my nerves are absolutely shot to hell. I live in a damn shithole, so crowded and full of crap, we’re only three boxes away from an episode of Hoarders. And I can’t do a damn thing about it. Every time I try to do anything to clear this place out or be semi-productive, I get arguments and resistance.

I don’t have any friends left. I don’t have any way left to relax, even for the slightest of moments aside from hiding in my room and sleeping all day or sometimes, getting on this computer and losing myself in my writing. That’s why there are so many Q&As and random things on my site. Writing is all I have left and that’s almost impossible with the constant interruptions by the dog, the cats, the random questions yelled from the other room, the very loud TV blasting away in that same room, etc. I’m losing my freaking mind and am so ready to snap. I’m so tired of this place and of everything and everyone that comes with it. I hate my fucking life! No, I can’t even call it a life. It’s called going through the motions and hating every moment of it. My world. Welcome to it!

And let’s move on. What an intro, right? I was going to do yet another edition of the Ultimate Wrestling Q&A, but I’ve already done one for today. The same goes for Questions (Not) By Casper. I know there are a few more of the No Chaser videos left to share, but I’ll do that when I finish here. This is all about writing, losing myself for a few minutes with mindless hyperbole, and trying to keep my sanity intact for one more night. So that means, a Day of Dougie.

Yeah, I’ll get the Magic Bag out of storage, wipe off the dust, draw out topics at random and without preparation, and then write about whatever topic comes up. And since I’m not in the mood for getting too in-depth with anything, we’re going rapid-fire. Doesn’t that sound like fun? It’s either this or go back to the darkness of my room, turn on the fan, and just lay there, overthinking every aspect of my life of the past twenty-five years. I’ve done more than enough of that as of late, so let’s go with the Day of Dougie instead. So are you ready? Let’s start drawing out some topics to talk about. Let’s do this.

Apter Style Stories/Magazines

Doesn’t it figure that the first topic I pull from the bag is wrestling-related? The Apter Mags, such as Inside Wrestling and The Wrestler were big in the seventies and eighties and this was how wrestling fans learned about the different territories and other wrestlers aside from their local favorites. We didn’t have cable TV or the internet, so we went to the grocery store and bought these magazines instead. And what they did was essentially write fan fiction stories about the wrestlers and different territories, but mixed with pictures and kayfabe reality. I’ve got boxes of old wrestling mags here at the house, full of these great stories and memories. Who needed the internet or cable? Bill Apter and friends had it covered.

70s Variety Shows

One of the biggest things about the 70s was all the variety shows on television. Find a moderately successful musical act that can sing, do comedy, and have the slightest bit of personality and they probably had a show on television. Sonny & Cher. Donny & Marie. The Captain & Tenille. Pink Lady & Jeff. Tony Orlando & Dawn. I could go on and on and on, but the formula was pretty set. The hosting duo sings a song, tells some jokes, and does a comedy skit or two. A guest star comes out and sings with one of the hosts. Another skit and then it’s all, “We’ll see you next week!”. It was cheesy, but it worked. I liked them.

Friendsgiving

It’s all the spectacle and glamor of Thanksgiving, with all the food, all the deserts, all the beverages, but instead of a traditional holiday being celebrated, it’s just because you want to do it, to enjoy the company of friends and family not because you’re obligated to do so, but simple for the fun and enjoyment of the people who matter in your life. I’ve often thought about doing something like this, but this house is a disaster and the animals run over everything, it could never work or happen, not to mention that the other person who lives here would complain and argue about how “stupid” it is and make me feel like an absolute idiot for wanting to indulge and have fun, spending time with my friends. Yeah, it’s like that sometimes. Maybe one day in the future, I’ll actually have friends again that I hang out with, do things with, and I can create a Friendsgiving feast for all of them. That would be nice. It probably won’t happen in this lifetime, but still.

Car

They have four wheels and take up space on the highway. A necessary evil to get around with and to go from place to place. I like my car. It’s a truck.

Lady Sings The Blues

A classic movie that I have never seen, at least not that I’m aware of. If I remember correctly, I think Diana Ross was the star of the movie. This was back in her acting phase where she thought she was young enough to play Dorothy in “The Wiz”, but really truly wasn’t. As a leading lady and actress, Diana Ross is a great singer. Just saying. And I think this was the other movie she bombed, I mean made during this phase. I’ve heard of it and seen posters and promotional things for the movie, but I’ve never seen it and have no intention of ever doing so. I like the blues and I’m sure the music is excellent, but I just can’t get past Miss. Ross.

And there you go. I’ve hit the thousand-word mark so it’s time to wrap this up and call it a night. I’m feeling a little better. I still want to go away, far away for a long, extended vacation or hell, maybe just a motel room and a bottle of Jack Daniels while playing on GRINDR, but I’m not as down in the dumps as I was. Writing for me is magical and keeps me semi-sane. I’m sure that the animals and Ma will be here to ruin it for me within the next few minutes. They do that sometimes, but for now, it’s a little better.

But anyhow, it’s time to wrap things up. My thanks for reading and being here for me when I need you, keeping the soul alive, and giving me someone to talk to when I need it. I love you, Peeps! And now, I’m out of here. Take care and be well. I’ll probably be back later tonight with some more Q&As or something. I’ll see you on the other side.

Ubuntu!