Questions (Not) By Casper @42: Random Twitter Q&A

Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #42
Random Twitter Q&A
April 14, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

The average person uses 80 curse words per day. Are you above or below the average?

Only eighty words a day? Then obviously, they’ve never worked in retail or customer service. Amateurs! Eighty is probably an average first hour of being awake each day. I think it’s safe to say that I am slightly above average.

What musician has impressed you most live in concert?

Reba McEntire. I went to her show in Charlotte not expecting much, but the entire show was awesome. Reba sounded great, as did her guests, John Michael Montgomery and Linda Davis, and the entire show were great. It was easily the best concert I’ve ever been to.

If someone offered you $100,000 to send them 5 Feet Pics every day for the next year. Would you do it?

Well, I’ve only got one foot, and it, more often than not, is swollen and looks like the Stay Puff Marshmellow Man’s appendage, but if some kinky freak wants pictures and is willing to pay that much, hell yeah, I’d do it. Show me the money.

Name a common houseplant.

An African Strangler. Okay, that’s only common in the Addams Family’s household and her name is Cleopatra. For a more common houseplant, how about a Venus Fly Trap? It eats flies and if you mutate it and work at a tiny flower shop in New York, you can feed your enemies to it. Well, only if your name is Seymour.

Without saying Misery, what is your favorite Kathy Bates film?

Easy answer here. Playing Mama in The Water Boy. She rocked in that film and stole the show.

Would you rather celebrate your birthday every week or never celebrate your birthday again (but still age at the same rate)?

I don’t do birthdays anymore unless forced. They’re depressing so let’s just quit them altogether. Works for me.

Would you break up with someone if your friends and family didn’t like them?

Nope. If I’m into someone and start dating them, the only opinion that matters is mine and mine alone. If it gets far enough for living together or marriage to be an option, then they have to get approval from my bro-son and his family, especially the Mini-Me and the Princess since they will all be a part of my life and I want everyone to be able to get along reasonably well. But the final decision is and will always be mine and mine alone.

If you were eaten by a lion, would you taste just like chicken?

I do eat enough of it so it’s a possibility. But you’d probably have to ask the lion.

What is the first movie that comes to mind that has Tupac in it?

To be honest, I can’t think of any movies that had Tupac as one of the stars. I’m sure that I’ve seen one or two, but I can’t think of any off the top of my head. My bad!

Is Joe Biden the worst president in American history?

In American history, I can’t say for sure, but for my lifetime, the past 60-plus years, I can say without a shadow of a doubt that he’s the worst president I’ve ever seen. Has anything gotten better for our country since he took office? Anything at all? He’s a liar, a pedophile, a habitual criminal, and just an absolute piece of shit. And those are his better points. Let’s just suffice it to say that compared to Pedo Pete, Hillary Clinton would be a step up.

Who is the greatest character from South Park?

I would say Tom Cruise, but he won’t come out of the closet. Kayne is a possibility, but he was too confused about gay fish. Maybe Eric, but he’s not fat. He’s just big-boned. Chef fell for the Succubus so he’s out of contention. Hell, let’s just go with Terrance & Phillip. They may be Canadian, but their jokes were always so fun and original. How did they come up with that stuff?

Do you miss old-school MTV when the focus was mostly on music and videos?

Back when the M in the name stood for something, MTV was pretty damn awesome. And now, it sucks! Yes, I miss the old-school MTV. It was good stuff.

Do you eat asparagus?

I know plenty of people who do, but I’ve always found it kind of nasty and repulsive. It’s just not my thing.

Would you kiss a dolphin?

Only if he’s cute.

Name a baseball movie you would always watch on opening day weekend NOT naming Moneyball, The Sandlot, Rookie of the Year, or 42 ⚾️.

I don’t play baseball or give a damn about the opening day weekend, but if I did care and wanted to watch a movie about baseball for whatever reason, I’d probably go with either Suicide Squad or Suicide Squad 2. Harley carried a baseball bat so it qualifies, right? Of course, it does.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, or any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, it’s time to wrap this baby up and put it to bed. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you on the next go-round.

Ubuntu!

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