Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #43
Random Twitter Q&A
April 14, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

What’s your guiltiest “guilty pleasure” band/song?

Don’t tell anyone, but I liked The Spice Girls when they first came out, and the best song? It was this one right here.

If you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life, but it had to be something you could fit in your pocket, what would you choose?

Either chicken nuggets or Tots. Yes, I watched Yahoo Serious a few nights ago and have Tots on the brain.

Least favorite beverage?

Either coffee or tea. Neither ranks very high in my world.

Favorite type of lunch meat?

Is hamburger lunch meat? It is for me so let’s go with that.

Name a song that mentions a phone or call in some way.

A lovely little ditty by Meri Wilson called Telephone Man.

Name a famous journalist.

Journalism is dead, but back in the day, there was this guy who I always felt was straight up and to the point, plus he likes bears. True that later on, he moved to CNBC and exposed his liberal, leftist leanings, but Sheppard Smith used to be the man.

Name something you shouldn’t do naked.

Ride to town and go shopping at Walmart. If you’re going to Wally-World, put some damn clothes on first. They don’t have to be fashionable or even clean. Hell, even just a bathrobe is fine, but cover that bare ass first before grabbing your shopping list and EBT card and heading out amongst the craziness that is the embodiment of the mouth of hell.

If you’re having eggs for breakfast, what is your favorite side item?

It doesn’t matter if it’s sausage, bacon, or fried spam. Just give the meat! I like meat!

Tater tot casserole or Shepherd’s pie?

Why would I take away poor Shepherd’s pie? Leave his pie alone. Give me that tater-tot casserole instead.

Is it a red flag if your date knew you were coming over and didn’t bother to clean?

It could be a red flag, but so long as the booty is good, a little dust can be overlooked. If it’s a regular thing, then there might be some problems, but for just a booty call, who cares?

Which celebrity have you been told YOU look like?

When I was younger, worked out frequently, and had all of my size in the shoulders and arms instead of the belly, I was compared more than once to Lou Ferrigno. And I’ve been compared to Rob Lowe too. Okay, I’m lying about that, but the Ferrigno comparisons are 100% true.

What kind of art do you like the most?

I like nudes. The human body is a beautiful thing.

What’s your favorite way to have a steak? Also, what are your sides?

I like it medium-well, fresh off the grill. And my sides would be a baked potato, a small salad, and some baked beans just because. That would be some good eating.

What is the one thing you always wanted as a child but couldn’t afford it?

A midget. Everyone should own one and since I didn’t have that opportunity, I was mistreated and abused as a child. My parents should have bought me a midget to hug, squeeze, and call George. Bad parents!

Which activity consumes most of your time?

Sleeping, reading, and writing. And your boyfriend, but he needs to step up his game. He’s getting boring.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that being said, let’s wrap things up. I’m out of here. I’ll see you on the funny pages.

Ubuntu!