Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #44
Random Twitter Q&A
April 15, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

You just saw a spider in your kitchen, what’s your next move?

It’s time to leave this house forever and go live with my bro & his family. Either that or get a flame thrower and go to work. Nah, I’m just kidding. I don’t mind spiders so long as I know where they’re at. If I see one and he’s just minding his own business and not bothering anyone, I’ll probably just ignore him, point him out to the cat, or swat him with a newspaper and be done with it, depending on my mood. But if he sneaks up on me and we’re all of a sudden face to face, it’s on and I’m going to wreck that little eight-legged bitch!

Washington has passed a bill allowing children to legally be taken from their parents if their parents don’t consent to their gender transition. What the hell is wrong with these people?

Insanity is the only word that can describe it. I’m sure that this new law will be thrown out as unconstitutional since it walks all over parental rights and is just plain stupid as well. If a person wants to “transition” once they’re an adult, then go for it. More power to them and their land of make-believe. But if it’s a minor, then it’s the parent’s responsibility to look after and protect their kids, even from themselves sometimes. No one and especially not the government has the right to impose that responsibility. And on a personal note, if the government or anyone else ever tried to take kids from their parents, I believe that the parents have the right and responsibility to fight back and protect their kids, by any means necessary. Take that as you will, but leave our kids alone.

Do you think you are generally more appreciated or more taken for granted?

Taken for granted.

Who is the greatest Doctor of all time?

The Ruler for Life and King of Latveria, Dr. Victor Von Doom. Yeah, he was the first one to come to mind. I’ve been reading my old comics again.

All chili dogs should have mustard, onions, and slaw.
True or false?

Leave off the onions and add ketchup and there you go. The perfect chili dog.

If you could go to a concert with any living Rock Star, who’s going with you?

Any living rock star? Alice Cooper would be my first choice, naturally, but if Alice isn’t available, then Dennis Locorriere, the voice of Dr. Hook, would be fun to hang out with as well.

Should schools have and enforce a dress code?

Yes, they should. I’m not talking about uniforms or suits and skirts for the kids, but dressing responsibly and with common sense seems to be a lost art these days and it needs to be rectified. We see kids these days dressed like they’re going to the clubs or working a stripper’s pole. Courtesy and respect for others and themselves are much needed and much ignored by today’s youth, and sadly, many adults as well. It can’t be fixed overnight, but maybe a common-sense dress code while in school would be a good way to start.

If someone tells you, “Say hi to your mom/dad/wife/husband/etc. for me,” do you do it?

I hear this frequently in regards to people asking about my Mom and yes, I always do make sure to tell her who asked about her and what they said. Well, I do if I remember.

What actor crushed a role so hard that nobody else will be able to live up to it?

Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark in the MCU movies. No one can ever replace him or play that role. He made it his own and became Tony Stark.

Who is the greatest Dentist of all time?

This guy from the Little Shop of Horrors.

Finish this sentence:
I’d like my home life to be more __.

Relaxed, quiet, and peaceful. Due to the animals and other people, it’s absolute torture and pure hell right now. I want to leave here so badly and just go away forever, it’s not even funny anymore.

Have you ever considered legally changing your name?

Nope. I’m a Maynard now and forever. I have on occasion thought about changing my pen name/writing name though. I think about it, but I won’t do it. I’m committed to using my real name and letting everyone see the real me, no secrets or hidden agendas, and why change it or do anything any differently now?

Would you rather have everything you draw become real but be permanently terrible at drawing or be able to fly but only as fast as you can walk?

I suck at drawing. Of my entire family, I’m the only one who has no artistic skills at all I can’t draw a straight line with a truckload of rulers, so no drawing for me. But flying would be pretty cool. So what if I fly slowly? I’d still be flying and that would be an incredible experience.

Would you rather live somewhere it rains most days or somewhere it never rains ever?

I love thunderstorms, but rain in general makes me depressed and anxious. Give me the sunny, dry weather where we only get the occasional shower or storm.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, let’s call it a day. I have to go fold clothes and then will probably go take a nap. I hate my freakin’ life. I’ll see you in the funny papers.

Ubuntu!