Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #63
Random Twitter Q&A
May 7, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

Do crackers belong in soup?

Absolutely. They add texture and extra flavor. Otherwise, all you’d have is just soup and who wants that?

What was your favorite trip you went on?

I’ll go with the long weekends and summer vacations when I was a kid to my Grandma Vick’s house in South Point, Ohio. Spending time with my cousins, Clint & Cliff, and being with Grandma, Aunt Shearlie, and the rest of the family, was a great time to be a kid and I’ll treasure those memories forever.

What’s the hardest part about working from home?

Finding the peace to focus on work without distractions. I have to get up in the middle of the night to be able to have ten minutes without a phone ringing or someone interrupting me. It sucks!

Name a song that mentions tears.

“No Time For Tears” by Alice Cooper. And here you go. Enjoy!

What is your favorite Star Wars movie?

I loved the first one and saw it when it came out in the movie theatre back in the late 70s. The rest of them though, not so much. I’ve never really been a Star Wars guy.

Why should anyone be required to use someone else’s pronouns?

They shouldn’t. A person can believe and identify however they want, but just because they’re in denial of reality and live in a world of make-believe doesn’t mean that anyone else has to play along. I identify as skinny and rich despite what my belly and my bank account tell me, but I don’t expect anyone else to compare me to a stick figure or try to sell me a bridge because it’s not true or realistic. It’s just my denial and inability to face reality. I can think what I want to, but no one else has to play along. It’s just that simple.

What song describes your life right now?

Falling to Pieces by Faith No More.

If you were given a home that had a notorious and violent past would you live there?

If I liked the house and feel comfortable there, then why not. The past can’t hurt you. It’s the current and future that matters and given time and effort, I would do my best to transform that home into a place that I enjoy and can call home.

Who gets your vote for the worst actor/actress of all time?

Let’s go with Bette Midler. It’s not that she’s really all that bad as an actress, but she’s such a nasty old bitty in real life that I can’t watch anything she’s in without wanting to punch her in the face with a toilet plunger. Alyssa Milano too.

Do you like Egg Rolls with sauce or no sauce?

I’m a versatile sort and can eat them either way. If I have duck sauce available, I’ll use it, but if I don’t, then I’ll just munch them as they are.

Who do you consider the Queen of Soul? You can’t name Aretha Franklin.

This lovely lady here, Miss Betty Wright.

How many naps do you take a week?

At least one a day and sometimes more, depending on how busy my day has been and how much the family and the fur babies are getting on my nerves. I’ll say 14.

The road to love is___________?

Blocked off by people doing construction and filling in the potholes.

Are you a serial killer: do you wear socks to bed?

I wear one sock to bed at night so does that make me a serial killer or just a borderline psycho with a dark soul, but who still has warm and fuzzy moments and tingling sensations in the tumtum? I am not a cereal killer, but I have chowed back on some Lucky Charms and Fruit Loops on occasion. Just call me the Jeffrey Dahmer of breakfast foods.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome and appreciated. And with that, this ends another edition of Questions (Not) By Casper. Take care and stay well, my friends. I’ll see you on the funny pages.

Ubuntu!