Tossing Salt Presents:
Questions (Not) By Casper #70
Random Twitter Q&A
May 10, 2023
DougMaynard.com

Once upon a time, there was a man named Casper who lived on Twitter and asked lots of great questions. He asked and I would answer, thus Questions By Casper was born. But then one day, he vanished and I had to find another source for my Q&As. Well, Twitter stepped up and now provides me with lots of random questions. It’s not Casper anymore, but it’s still lots of great fun. Now it’s Questions (Not) By Casper. And it all starts right now. Let’s go.

Would you rather humans discover a signal from intelligent life from another planet or figure out how to extend human life for another 100 years?

Let’s talk to the friendly Martians and aliens on other planets. Living to be nearly two centuries old sounds like it’d be more headaches and problems than it would be worth.

What is the best way to get over a breakup?

Alcohol and good friends (with benefits). Maybe throw in a bonfire and some tacos too.

What is something you’ve done that nobody would expect?

I think working at a Food Bank for nearly fourteen years would fall into the unexpected category for me. I dated a few different women when I was younger and that threw a few people off guard as well.

How would you describe your sense of humor?

Dark, twisted, deranged, and kind of sad. Even Andrew Dice Clay and Brad Williams look at me and go, “That dude is twisted! Funny, but still. Damn!”

Name a famous weirdo.

Me? Okay, I’m not famous yet and I’m not a weirdo. I’m a writer so my eccentricities are allowed. A famous weirdo? How about Weird Al Yankovic? He’s so weird, it’s even part of his name.

In your opinion, what’s the best sitcom ever?

I would say, Roseanne. It was a family with real issues, and so well written that you felt like you knew those characters, that family and they were totally real.

Is it possible to be too honest?

Yeah, it is. People don’t like it when you speak the truth and it’s not what they want to hear or it doesn’t agree with their beliefs or the narrative that they want to hear. Oh well, they’ll be okay.

What color of clothing do you wear more?

Just like Johnny Cash and The Undertaker, I like to wear black.

Stanley Kubrick isn’t available, greatest Movie Director of all time?

While I would have to give kudos to Chris Columbus (Rent, Harry Potter), Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), and Clint Eastwood (El Torino), the best for me is Silent Bob himself, Kevin Smith.

Do you ever wonder what could have been?

Every single day of my life.

Family Guy or South Park?

Both have gotten kind of stale over the past few years, but Family Guy still makes me laugh so we’ll go with that.

If you could telepathically say something to all 7.9 billion people on Earth right now, what would it be?

Let’s go, Brandon!

Do you eat or drink soup?

I eat it with a spoon until all the meaty or noodle parts are gone and then drink the remaining broth.

If protesters are blocking the street, what do you do?

What protesters? All I see are speed bumps. And I proceed accordingly.

What movie do you think best represents current-day America?

Not so much the movie itself, but just the title. It’s A Mad Mad World! As for where our world is headed, I’d say, Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.

And there you go. My thanks for reading. Comments, thoughts, and any questions are welcome. And with that, let’s close up for the day. Take care and be well, my friends. I’ll see you at the bar.

Ubuntu!